I love free speech. In fact, my insistance on saying things like they are with no regards to political correctness or sanctities has gotten me a fair share of hate mail if not outright death threats at times. That’s why, some of you might be surprised that I’m actually not a fan of Joe Maalouf, but think he is a wretched, opportunistic hypocrite who probably pulled some strings to get a show on MTV.

Now, when MTV went a little overboard, I was among the few that stood beside it, seeing how the accusations were mostly from idealistic leftists who thrive on “activism” and Cafe Younes food. But, with “Enta Horr”, MTV is allowing and purposefully endorsing violence, harm and danger to some of society’s most vulnerable.

Again, let me reiterate my absolute belief in freedom of speech and no censorship. Perhaps the one quote I truly admire is one by Voltaire “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” But, in this case, what Joe Maalouf is saying is killing other people and that’s where I draw the line.

I will not go into the details of whether or not homosexuality is a valid preference. As a biologist, and a libertarian, I believe that being gay is both natural and that legal adults have the right to decide what they like and want to do, so long as no one is actually getting hurt as a result. What I will always do though, is advocate their rights as human beings, something Joe Maalouf has endangered time and again and not only with homosexuals.

I was pleased to read on BlogBaladi that founder of Helem, George Azzi believes Joe Maalouf is gay and that that is widely accepted in the LGBT community in Lebanon. I don’t mean to stereotype, but his accent and mannerisms do tend to make that obvious. If only he wasn’t on a crusade to get homosexuals killed…

Joe, do shows about homosexuals. Let them be biased. Let them be incriminating, demonizing and all the other things closeted gay people try to portray their out-of-the-closet counterparts with. However, blur out their faces. Your cheap shot at ratings and controversy make Malek Maktabi look like a respectable journalist. You showing these people’s faces endangered their lives. What if one was the son of an extremist cleric? Do you think he’d last long on this Earth? And even if the harm wasn’t physical, imagine your face on national TV being accused of “atrocities”, would you be able to walk down the street again? Would your family love you the same way? Of course, homosexuality should never entail those consequences, but in a country where sheikhs think it’s cool to rape and beat women, we’re very far from gender equality let alone gay rights.

This thing, up your ass, legally

However, Maalouf’s recklessness has landed dozens of people in jail, and those are the ones we know of. In a jail where it is legal to insert a chicken egg into a man’s anus to test whether he is gay or not. Yes, I’m serious, that law does exist in Lebanon. Torture at it’s finest, I mean come on, who wouldn’t admit to being gay if it meant avoiding an egg being shoved up you ass?

Now, if you’re one of those people who still thinks homosexuality is the devil’s work, let me appeal to what’s left of your humanity after being warped by your faith. The child molester in Saint Joseph Antoura rocked the nation. The suspect accused of this created a lot of controversy and public anger, and rightly so. His name deserves to be publicized and he should suffer the consequences of his despicable actions. But, what do the innocent girls have to do with it? Why do their grief-stricken, in-shock families have to suffer the consequences of the actions of a man like that? They don’t.

BUT, of course, Joe Maalouf publicized the names of those girls and their families. Bravo Joe! You made people have something to gossip about in the salons. You also got awesome ratings and everyone thinks you’re a hero. But, they don’t actually. Making the victims’ names public exponentially makes the ordeal worse. Imagine suffering sexual abuse and molestation, and being reminded of it for the rest of your days with people always thinking about that and tip-toeing around you for fear you’re too fragile or broken. Thanks Joe! You’re a real trooper.

In conclusion, I’d like to take the chance to applaud MTV for always saying things without fear of backlash. However, I’d also like to rebuke them for their hypocrisy and some bigoted staff members. Having an opinion is cool and voicing it is a must and then it’s up to the people to make their decisions. But endangering people’s happiness, safety, liberty and lives will never be acceptable. It will always be bullying and one I find disturbing from a station with a youthful staff and up-and-coming philosophy.

When our Minister for Interior launched the infamous “Shaher Ameni” (security month). Some people saw it as something cool and much-needed. I saw it as an awesome joke that keeps getting better, for several reasons. Here’s why:

1- One Month of Security, Not More?

As a Lebanese citizen in Lebanon, I find it deeply disturbing that security is properly enforced only one month a year, or ever for that matter. Seriously? It’s as if keeping law and order was an exceptional thing and one that needs a special month with special procedures…Why is it an extraordinary event Mr Minister? Are you admitting that there is no security, no law and no order in Lebanon, and that attempting to keep it is something extraordinary and something worth highly publicizing?

2- Heads-Up Criminals!

If you’re a criminal, you usually are aware of the fact you are being hunted down. In Lebanon, you know things move at a snail’s pace and fueled only by bribes and threats. So, when the minister tells you that for a month they’re gonna be extraordinary at doing the bare minimum of their jobs, you’ll make sure to be extra careful, hide somewhere or even go on vacation till the hype dies down. I find it hilarious that the minister was so generous and gave outlaws and suspects an advantage to seek shelter and safety from justice. He might’ve thought it was a deterrent force statement to prospective criminals, but, in a country where so many suspects are roaming free, the cons heavily outweighed the pros in my opinion.

3- Coincides With Judicial “Vacations”

Not many of you may know, but for several months a year, the judiciary system in Lebanon takes some time off. A lot of time off in fact. Depending on the judge and his/her conscience, a judge might spend as little as two hours a week reviewing cases and chairing courtrooms. So, all the people arrested are spending too much time in jail before even appearing in front of a judge. You’re catching “bad guys” but putting them in limbo with a judiciary that is mostly on vacation. What if the people caught was a misunderstanding? Or because a detective got paid off to make the bust of someone innocent? I think this is a major failure on the synchronization part of this security month.

4- Traffic!

As if the spontaneous checkpoints on busy nights weren’t already annoying, now you can rest assured they’re a certainty and much more numerous. Got a party in Gemmayzeh? Good luck getting their in time after getting stuck for as much as 40 minutes per checkpoint, and that’s assuming no stupid people are burning tires on the said day or road you’re taking.

5- Blackmail

So, when they catch actual criminals and terrorists, they get released because of tires burning and bullets firing. Meaning that any real threat gets bailed out by politicians or street thugs (which are mostly the same by the way). Who ends up being behind bars? Kids with a marijuana joint, bootleg dvd vendors and some douche who pays out checks with no balance. Real threats to my security these lot, not like silly things such as bullets, bombs, road closures and the like, those are minor things we shouldn’t bother with.

Conclusion

Congrats on catching 1,201 people this fine month. I wonder how many were actual criminals. I wonder how many crime bosses fled before the month. I wonder how many thugs were released because of corruption, coercion or bribery. I wonder if I can get to my dinner party in Verdun on time this weekend. I wonder when’s the next time the police decide to do their job for one month only.

You’ve all heard of AlloFail by now. The online-driven initiative launched to name and shame Lebanese telecom providers and pressure them into giving us the minimum of services for the premiums we pay.

You don’t need activists to tell you that Touch and Alfa suck. Because, they suck. You can never complete a conversation, or get a dial tone from the first trial. 3G is something we covet dearly and stay still in one location when we actually get the signal.

Our bills are not transparent, we not only pay for things that are absurdly overpriced, we’re not 100% sure what we’re paying for. That’s of course besides the blatant theft of recharging mobile internet and having it disappear minutes later after the alleged limit has been reached. After investigations, you realize it’s not an app or your phone, but Alfa and Touch. What do they have to say about that? Nothing. Or some stupid excuse like “guarantee software”.

However, what’s cute about Touch and Alfa is that they advertise as if they’re a blessing sent from the gods. With Touch bombarding us with its “In My New World” campaign, while selectively rooting out the ones that call for better mobile service, but keeping and promoting farfetched stuff like losing calories while doing nothing or traveling the world in one day.

After making sure we all know they have 2 million subscribers, Touch released a fairly basic plan which allows unlimited calls to a certain number, a service that is a given by most telecom providers and usually for 3-5 numbers, not just one. Now, despite the fact it was just one number, and for a period less than a month, we all thought it was pretty neat considering what we’re used to from Touch and Alfa…

And then…

And after criticism

And to that, I dunno what to say exactly. So, because I’m finding it hard to choose the right words, here’s a rage face that describes Touch perfectly:

Join the AlloFail cause, go to their Facebook group and complain. Telecom providers are answering and acting upon people’s complaints, so change is actually happening (I know, hard to believe right?). Best part is, if it’s not up to the pace we want, AlloFail’s lawyers are gonna sue them for their wrongdoing and that’s gonna be a lot of fun!

Firstly, I find it hilarious that MTV is putting conditions on people to get coverage. Usually, it’s the TV station that needs to take the initiative to get the news, not the other way round.

Secondly, I agree fully with MTV’s claim that the uncivilized, stupid, naive, polluting and plain annoying new fad of burning tires has gone out of hand, and with an army which does little more than direct traffic and police too busy stuffing their face with chicken and taking bribes, any idiot with a lighter and old tire can hold an entire region hostage.

However, as a TV station, it’s in their interest, if not their moral obligation, to cover the reality of things. Choosing to turn a blind eye to something you don’t like, is like a 5 year old child putting his hands on his ears and shouting at the top of his lungs till whatever he’s mad about it is gone.

What’s worse, is that they’ve fallen into the disgusting mentality that many Lebanese share, where they seek to “hide” the bad parts and want to falsely advertise the good things. We all saw what that backwards mentality did with the Jeita N7W issue: we lost way too much money and were so embarrassed that with all the fuss and extreme coverage and badgering of people for weeks leading up to the results, the whole of Lebanon acted as if the N7W scam never happened the next day.

Covering reality is what we’re supposed to do. Adding opinion is completely up to them, but choosing to leave out certain things you don’t like is both wrong in principle and also bad for business. If something’s happening and MTV isn’t covering it, while AlJadeed for example is, screw MTV, I’ll switch to AlJadeed and watch it there. That’s because unless you’re a die-hard politically active person, you don’t really feel loyal to a particular TV station, you just want the content. So, choosing to leave out juicy contact like that, for boring press conferences or whatever they consider as civilized, is bad for business.

Especially when MTV have a knack of being at the right place at the right time, getting live coverage of many events when other stations would be airing Syrian-dubbed Turkish soap operas, or that retard selling Jujuba with men with belly-rings.

So, please MTV Lebanon, stop being a teta who is sheltering us from the truth and do your jobs. No need to give them extra attention, but removing coverage is a bit narrow-minded. I guess including them in the newshours at night would be sufficient, but it would be bad for business, and credibility, if you overlook a breaking news piece deliberately, I might be watching your programing before my flight, and wouldn’t know some imbeciles closed the airport road. I’d miss my flight for nothing!

Lebanon is a scandalous country. We love doing bad things. Every single issue, has a scandal hidden somewhere. In fact, most of the time it isn’t, we just choose to overlook it and with time it dies down.

The controversy over the privatization of Lebanon’s shores has been going on for several years now, gaining momentum in the past couple of years as entrance fees skyrocket well beyond the financial abilities of most Lebanese, myself included.

I myself am generally against that, and encourage you to occupy parts of the shore facing places like Edde, since they legally have no claim over that land, which is public property, like anywhere else in the world. However, scandals most of us are oblivious to, which happened mostly during the Lebanese Civil War from 1975-1990, have paved the way for several beaches in multiple Lebanese areas to legally, own that piece of shoreline and even several meters into the sea (which no one can own, besides Solidere of course, which buys sea, reclaims it and sells it to us for millions of dollars).

Stealing sand is commonplace in Lebanon. Anyone who commutes via the Nahr el Kalb tunnel will notice a bulldozer or two every now and then at the foot of the Nahr el Kalb river. None of us give it much thought, but the reality is that these people are up to no good, and what they’re doing is very illegal. But, of course, they’re politicians’ bulldozers and trucks and when enough people are paid off, everything goes in this broken little country.

It seems that during the war, when everyone was busy killing each other, these sand thieves were a bit too bold. They siphoned off thousands of tons of sand, tens of thousands of trucks, maybe more, were sold off. Al-Akhbar estimates that one truckload of sand is worth 400USD today (which it also claims MEA is doing in Beirut). Let’s assume it was just 300 or 200USD back then, that’s millions if not billions of dollars stolen from you and me.

The amount of sand stolen was so immense, than the shoreline has gone back several meters. I’d say, we’re not really 10452 sqaure kilometers anymore, given disputed lands with Israel and Syria, as well as Solidere’s expansion into the sea, and add to that the disappearing shores and we’re somewhere like 10452-X+Y±Z=WTF

Anyway, if you’re a millionaire now and buy a plot by the sea, chances are you might be buying a land which is incomplete, where part of it is actually the sea, which is exactly what the photo below is. Notice the protruding “sansoul” or artificial rock formation where boats could maybe dock and beach goers would suffer weaker waves. That’s technically illegal, you can’t build into the sea. In this particular plot though, the sea legally begins at the edge of that artificially reclaimed piece of land! So much sand was stolen, that the sea moved inland and is technically part of the land being rented or bought…

All I can say now is: wow, really? And advise you to be careful next time you wanna impose yourself on what you believe is public property… It might as well be someone’s private land and you’d be in a terrible legal mess as a result!