What I Want My Funeral To Be Like

Funerals are the epitome of events in someone’s life. It signifies the end of it, the culmination of all the years, of all the memories, of all the accomplishments and of all your family and friends hold dear. Yet, no one ever has a say in their memorial services. What to be done with the body, how the services should take place and other hard details grieving loved ones shouldn’t have to make could be done beforehand by the person concerned, and here’s what I’m hoping will happen.

I hope this post won’t come in handy soon, but you never know, do you?

    The last thing I want is people saying “we gained an angel” or “god wanted him” or other things I find immensely insulting. Funerals should be memorial services and I want folks to remember my life, not make themselves feel better and undermine my real life and their memories of it, for generic phrases they’ve been taught by their priests and mothers. So, thank you for not saying those things, and instead, maybe remembering something fun we did together, you know, reminiscing!
    No paying churches or funeral houses or anything similar. Money you were gonna spend on flowers or priests’ wages should go to charities and universities. Of course, I’d prefer you choose charities that do not discriminate and are secular, but the choice is yours of course and thank you for putting it in my memory!
    If the method and state I’m in during my death allows it, I’d like to donate everything that could be used from my body. Why let them rot and become worm food when they could improve or even save someone else’s life? Everyone should donate their organs upon death IMO.
    I don’t wanna take up precious real estate and let my decaying remains poison underground water sources. That’s why whatever is left of me will be cremated and the ashes split and used as, first, fertilizer for an olive tree (which I hope my family will take care of and keep) which will sorta be like reincarnation! Those atoms that once were me, can now be part of that very fruitful tree… How awesomely poetic and spiritual is that?! (Oh, and a small part of the ashes will be dedicated to some of my friends whom I believe will use to fertilize another type of “plant” ^^)OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
    I’m not sure what they are, but they’ll be happy stuff you’ll find useful. No icons or candles or rosaries, maybe phone covers, earphones, Swiss chocolate or something else that’ll make you happy or be useful for your everyday lives
  6. VENUE
    Not a religious place, but a happy place. I’d like it to be easily accessible to everyone and not too far away. I would love to have it in the mountains overlooking Ehden, but I guess that would need a lot of off-roading! Perhaps BIEL?
  7. MUSIC
    Some Chopin, and of course, deadmau5 or Daft Punk or Justice, depending on whoever is still alive or would agree to performing live or at least recording a special set pour moi! Also, a donation box or small fee could be collected to see these awesome folks live, and the money will all go to scientific research foundations across the world.tumblr_lps8reBp5k1qexfcto1_500

Please understand these are my personal thoughts and opinions. No offense was meant here to anyone, and I respect how other people believe they should take care of their dead. However, I also believe everyone should have a choice of what happens to them after they die, just like you can write a will deciding what will happen to the things you owned after you’re gone.


  1. Toufic says

    i dnt know…i had mixed feelings while reading this…the mixed feelings have nothing to do with whether it keeps with tradition or not…on the contrary thats what i loved about it…i dnt know…i cant really put my finger on it…anyways…as awesome as this sounds i hope it doesnt have to happen for a VERY LONG TIME!! Love

  2. YazDeBull says

    Sounds so much fun. Loud music, gifts and chocolate…cant wait !

    Hahaha GINOW ! Well said…. But u know ur too atheist to die soon; rule of thumb: believers always die first hahaha

  3. Dina says

    gino! loved this, no matter how “morbid” it is. i agree with every single point. the use(s) for your ashes has to be my favorite part.
    hey, i’m a firm believer in the notion that if you have to leave a party, leave it at it’s height. but it doesn’t mean your friends can’t continue the party without you 😉
    so funny, please keep the ingenious posts coming!

  4. Alex says

    Go for Ehden for your burial. And as for music, well, despite its religious undertones, Brahms’ requiem. It is a requiem for the living, after all

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