A Reply to Outlook’s Silly, Homophobic Article

May 4, 2012 By 38 Comments

I’m a person who believes in humans. As a result, I believe in virtually unlimited personal freedoms, so long you don’t actually harm someone else. I can partly credit my alma mater for that, but I was shocked to read the article I’ve posted below in the AUB newspaper, Outlook. The sheer ignorance, arrogance and homophobia makes me embarrassed to say I probably shared a few classrooms with the writer. Granted anyone can post a letter to the editor, I’ll choose to address the writer himself and anyone who thinks like him.

The other day, I saw a couple holding ands along Hamra Street. Normally I would never look twice, but something was not right. They both had short hair, facial hair, and rough voices. The sight was disturbing. Call me sexist, call me whatever you like, I couldn’t get that image out of my head for the whole day. I couldn’t believe what I saw, I know that Lebanon aims to be an ideal ‘secular’ country, but if this is what ‘secular’ is then maybe it’s not such a good idea.

Thank you kind sir, for admitting that you are against a fair and free society where old men in robes don’t have a say in what you do and what you have the right to do. Secular does not mean Lebanon becomes homosexual, secular means everyone is the same under law. It means no one can rape their wives because the sheikh said it’s ok. It means that people like you cannot have a say in the lives of others because it “insults” your own religion. I took the liberty of wikipedia-ing “secularity” for you, I hope you know how to read this.

Homosexuality has always been a controversial subject in the world, not just Lebanon. In the United States some states have legalized sexual marriage while others have outlawed the act. Almost every holy religion has condemned it. Islam condemns it to a point where the culprits are to be stoned to death. The bible States “if a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” (Leviticus 20:13). Judaism also condemns those who commit such an ‘abomination’.

OH! “Holy” religions condem them?! (so, the other religions aren’t holy?). Very persuasive point, after all, all of us adhere completely to scripture written centuries ago by illiterate goat herders. Also, as a former Christian, I’m pretty sure Leviticus is not a Christian text, it’s in the Old Testament, which means Jewish, Thanks though for further elaborating your ignorance and inability to use even Google or Wikipedia (much less a proper paper). Might I also add some protestant churches not only accept homosexuality, but ordain priests who are openly gay. So, even though I don’t care much for what religion says, in itself, the religious argument fails miserably.

Even if I were to put religions aside, our cultures, logic, morals, and humanity have and hopefully always will condemn such acts whether in public or in private. Some have previously asked the question: ‘Why would God create people like that if he didn’t want us to do it?’ People are not born homosexual, usually one changes as he is growing from the infant stage up until puberty, some even later than that. This is, according to psychologists, due to certain factors during infancy and homosexuality can be treated in various ways.

Really? I don’t condemn them. Does that mean I’m immoral? And I love how the thousands of studies that point to the biological roots of homosexuality, such as its existence in virtually all known sexual animals, was completely disregarded by the writer, who cited “psychologists” as a whole pointing out something so vague that’d fit with the weak argument. I also love how it’s a given that “God created us”, but then he supposedly cites scientists, who usually work on real stuff and studies, not what God says.

I have seen the protests all over the world on the news, and it wasn’t something I saw to be logical, or human for that matter. I mean, let’s stop for a minute and say that it was okay to be gay all over the world and have a chain around a man’s neck and have him dragged around. How would that serve mankind any good? It obviously wouldn’t. The pair (if not more) would never have offspring, the rate of STDs would skyrocket, and any morality that society still had would disappear amongst a myriad other plights. In that logic, if homosexuality is legalized world-wide, ten let’s legalize marijuana as well. If homosexual’s excuse is ‘it’s what makes us happy’ then what will stop others from taking the same stand?

Have you seen the gay parades? They’re happy and jolly. Have you seen the anti-gay parades? They’re savage and angry and use slogans like “God hates fags” and “kill the fags”. I’d choose the gay parade any day over religious zealots who never got a proper education and think we walked with dinosaurs and that women are inferior to men.

OR

So, gays aren’t human? And if a guy sticks his penis into another anus, we lose morality? I don’t know about you, but what business gay people do, won’t make me beat up children or spit on beggars, I’m pretty sure we’d all still be really moral, no matter where a penis is inserted. And plenty of civilized countries legalize marijuana, and their results are more impressive than the ones that criminalize it, so I doubt anyone will see this as one of a “myriad of plights” (nice use of thesaurus.com btw). And if it makes them happy, and other people do the same, how is that a problem? Maybe you should spend less time thinking about where gay man put their penises, unless you’re gay too of course…

The point is, religion has done well in keeping society working well and efficiently in a respectable manner. God has set the rules for us to abide by, not to make life hard on us, but to make it better and easier.

God is your own belief. Don’t shove it down the throat of others. From where I stand, religion has done plenty to blow up cars and people, murder “witches”, start wars, justify rape and make people act like brutish savages with no brains. I’ve never seen a dog blow itself up, or burn a woman for learning how to read, or stoning a man  for practicing a religion different that the given majority’s. Also, the same God you’re talking about asks for foreskins from battles, allows pedophilia and necrophilia, and you expect me to take that as a standard for morality?

‘homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with other men. There is a three year waiting list’ Yakov Smirnoff.

The lust, the hunger, the addiction. Men hungering for gay pleasure are willing to withstand the freezing environment of a metal cell in Russia just to pleas e their insides. Is this what the human race has become?

Yes, the country where the current president got 140% of the votes, is definitely an example we should follow. But, ironically, it is, given how Russia has abolished the law you’re so proud of

My two cents

This article was nauseating. Especially since I used to be part of Outlook. It is a disrespectful, naive and bigoted article which I believe deserves no place in a reputable publication. But, given my strong belief in freedom of speech, I’ll acknowledge the right he had to say whatever he wants. However, I like many, many others reserve the right to ridicule him accordingly.

Who the hell are you to judge what other people want and like to do? What gives you the right to impose your beliefs on others? What makes you think you can decide what morality means? How can you quote a book that sanctifies marital rape and consider it moral, books which contain references to necrophilia and pedophilia?

My advice to you, is go focus on “benefiting society” as you so dearly care about and let other people be. Your ignorance, though scary, is unfortunately a reality we cannot escape in a country where religious sects run our schools. As a heterosexual man, I have no problem with gays or lesbians doing whatever the hell they want if they enjoy it. If you’re a heterosexual man too and comfortable with your sexuality, I see no reason why it should offend you, or occupy so much of your attention. This post was just a reply, a far more detailed, emotion-free, properly cited and more developed article will be published here next week with a little help from a friend of mine in Harvard. Till then, why not check out the conversation happening on my Facebook timeline, or better yet, starting another one here.

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Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Thoughts

Samy Gemayel Visits AUB

December 27, 2011 By 2 Comments


I like Samy. He came to give a lecture two years ago, which I attended out of curiosity. Back at the time, I did not know who he really was other than that he is a Gemayel and a Phalangist (Kataeb) with a somewhat weird voice. After that lecture though, I discovered he was the only person in the Gemayel family who actually inherited Bashir’s charisma and eloquence.

What he hasn’t inherited though, is the level of idealism, which I find especially appealing about him. His pragmatic approach to internal politics are ballsy to say the least, but nevertheless well-researched and somewhat viable in a sea of invalid arguments and ideologies.

So, it was only natural that on his second visit, I attend his lecture, and this time jot down a few notes. Here are some of the points that I found interesting and my thoughts added at the end.

The Lebanese Political System is Broken

Samy touched upon an important fact we often overlook or dismiss as just a history class lesson. Our constitution and political system is inspired by our then-chaperones: The French. Lebanon as we know it today was drawn up and built up during the French Mandate that ended in 1943. This, he thinks and I agree, was the first mistake.

That’s because the French and Lebanese differ markedly on many levels. For one, the French all share the same identity, values, history and “pride” in their nation. The Lebanese are a mixture of persecuted minorities who came to Lebanon to seek refuge at different times in history and under very different circumstances. That’s why, the histories, loyalties, customs, norms, beliefs and even languages of the inhabitants of Lebanon are not the same. Thus, creating a France-style central government was a time-bomb waiting to explode, and it has, at least once already.

One government for 18 different peoples means one of them will control that government and the rest will either be second-class citizens, or do everything to seize that power. It’s a well-known fact the Christians, especially the Maronites, held much of the strings pre-1975. This prepared the stage for the infamous Lebanese Civil War that saw the Christian role diminish and virtually vanish, with ceremonial positions in governments and unfair representation in elected offices.

It’s indisputable that post-1990 period, the Sunnis rose to power with the blessing and backing of the Syrian Occupation. Here, Christians were virtually obliterated from all forms of government with their de-facto leaders in exile, in prison or in coffins. When things got sour and Syria left, that combined with the July 2006 War and the May 7 clashes and eventually the toppling of Sunni Saad El Hariri’s national unity government put the Shiite Hezbollah on top.

The point is, our political system is broken and we are all in a constant struggle to sieze power of the central government. This is the root of many of our problems, such as our dependence (and in some cases complete obedience) on international and regional powers .

Solution 1: A Fully Secular State is Impossible at the Moment

To this, Samy said it would be his ideal choice, but went on to say that at the moment it was unthinkable. His views are similar to mine, and talking of a secular political system is stupid when everything else, including laws, education and overall mentalities are still so heavily reliant on old men in robes. Samy said that for a real secular state, we need to abolish religious schools and political parties. This makes complete sense and we agree on this. I sought a more far-fetched solution though, read about it here.

Solution 2: A De-Centralized Government

This sounds like a dolled-up version of the taboo Kataeb catchphrase of “Federalism.” I for one, believe this is the ideal solution. Let the ideologues bicker over petty things like Arabism and Western Influence as long as they want, but let things which actually matter to me, like water, electricity , asphalt and telecom get done. I couldn’t care less about martyrdom and other big titles which mean nothing. I care about my bills, traffic and being able to live a decent life which I can enjoy.

My stances are of course more extreme than Samy’s because I’m not running for the elections in 2013. Anyway, what Samy was focusing on is that the government is too far away from its people and that the only way you can get anything done is through “wasta” which means “knowing someone/bribing someone” to get what is actually your right. With a local government, you can easily get to them without needing to kiss a thousand asses and lick a hundred boots. Why? Because if they screw up, you’ll screw them over in the ballot four years later.

What actually happens now is we get screwed over, but come election season, the incompetent and corrupt politicians hand out special services or bribes to voters, which get amnesia and go vote for them again like sheep. A de-centralized government is the solution to that dilemma, and that is the solution Samy has subscribed to as a pragmatic, but conservative politician.

My Two Cents

Samy failed at one integral thing: the mechanism. It would be fine and dandy to create a de-centralized government. But, how? The people that benefit from the current system are the people with the authority and power to change the system. So why would they change it? By revolting you say? The problem is we don’t have a Muammar or a Hosny, we have a Hariri, Nasrallah, Junblatt, Geagea, Gemayel, Aoun, etc. and “toppling” one will inevitably lead to a clash with one of the Lebanese factions.

If I were Samy, I’d keep at it. I’m proud to have MPs which actually do their work, lobby for it and believe in it pragmatically. If Samy had his own party, I’d consider joining it. I guess lots of other people feel the same way I do. The Kataeb party and the Gemayel family have too much baggage with them, and not everyone is prepared to subscribe to that. One example is my dislike of his father, Amine, who is a failed statesman in my opinion, and yet remains in the top post in the phalange party based on primitive hereditary political transitions.

Notable Moments

Samy admitted his party might’ve done mistakes in the past. Including a few mistakes and misjudgments that might’ve help lead to the 1975 war.

Another was Samy’s witty and frank response to Hezbollah supporters. He admitted he knew “what he was getting into” when he came to AUB jokingly admitting he was expecting students like Hezbollah supporters to confront him. One question raised by an HA supporter was why would they give up their arms and fate to a corrupt government, to which Samy promptly responded, why would everyone else submit to the will of the Resistance? Which I completely agree with. No one side should be able decide the fate of a nation, no matter how “noble” and “divine” they might be.

Samy’s suggestion that the Resistance become a part of the Lebanese Armed Forces versus being dismantled, is a tricky one, but more feasible. Maybe the politicians won’t go into the details of the standard operating procedures of HA, but at least the decision of war and peace can be a national decisions, not a unilateral one.

Another question was “what was the army doing to stop the aerial incursions of the Israeli Defense Forces?” Samy answered blazingly fast “what was HA doing?” to which the HA supporter said “if we do something, you’re unhappy, if we don’t you’re unhappy” to which Samy’s replied the diplomatic, but farfetched suggestion of “strengthening the Lebanese Army”

A good point was also “constructive neutrality” which Samy believes Mikati and Sleiman are exercising at the moment when it comes to the Syrian situation. Lebanon’s abstaining in the UNSCR sanctions vote and its refusal to send observers with the Arab League, were indeed the smart option because it is an issue the Lebanese are split about. This way, no one is considered oppressed or controlled. On matters of agreement though, like Israle being the enemy, there would not be neutrality though Samy said, which means Lebanon is “constructively neutral” in that when it needs to and everyone is ok with it, we take a decision. When we’re not, we abstain. Problem solved. Hello Switzerland of the Middle-East.

I can go on and on, but this post is already over 1500 words and I’m sure the comments will be just as wordy!

My Last Comments

Please Mr Samy, open up your own party and begin rallying support from youth such as myself. We’re gonna be voting next time around!

Everyone else, it’s time we start facing facts… There’s something wrong, and we need a solution which is radical, but rational, even if it means betraying some “taboos” and giving up on your personal ideologies. Things change with time and circumstances, that’s natural selection’s law. Not changing in a changing world means failure. 2013, here we come (unless the world ends in 2012)

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Leb

6 Reasons Why You Should Register for the Social Media Changing Lives Conference (hint: it’s free and I’m in it)

December 11, 2011 By 5 Comments

If you don’t have the time to read, click play and let Gavin Ford explain it to you in 34 seconds. If you’re THAT bored at work or university, take a moment to consider why this conference is a good idea.

1- It’s Free

You just have to register here to guarantee your place

2- It’s About Social Media

Apart from our lives becoming largely digital and cyberspace via Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and all the other social networks we subscribe to, social media is the new “it” thing in marketing and business, where every single establishment todays needs to be present, and present effectively on social networks. In other words, you will definitely come across something you’ll say “ooooh” or “ahaaa” to whether its about your personal or professional life.

3- Awesome and Diverse Speakers and Panelists

It includes everyone from the British Ambassador (and good tweep) Tom Fletcher, to Lebanon’s and the region’s most influential online experts, activists and entrepreneurs. It also includes me on a panel, so that’s reason enough! But, if you insist, here’s the speakers’ list.

4- Includes Fabulous Entertainment

Conferences can get boring, and the talking might get sometimes too much to sit through. But, there’s a reward at the end with the fabulous Poly, EpiSode and Anthony Touma performing live at the Issam Fares Institute.

5- Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black Bashing Very Likely

As you can see from these posters, JB and Black may be two examples of where SM went wrong. That’s your chance to bash the beliebers in a room full of hundreds of people like you.

6- Dunkin Donuts and Crepaway Catering = Free Food

I know the economy’s bad and stuff, and I’m sure some of you might wanna stuff some donuts and munchkins and sandwiches in between talks. Caterers at conferences are often some obscure restaurant with stuff you’re not used to. This time, the food’s something I think we all like.

Conclusion

I highly recommend you register ASAP and show up on December the 16th at noon. The guys at the Online Collaborative have done a fantastic job in preparing this marathon social media day and I am certain it will not disappoint. I wish the AUBOC the best of luck, and that I miss them, and that I’ll see you all on Friday December the 16th!

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Tech

MUST WATCH – Arne Dietrich’s TEDxBeirut Talk

November 16, 2011 By 4 Comments

Professor Arne Dietrich is the foremost reason I want to dedicate my life to Neuroscience. I have taken almost every course he gives at the American University of Beirut and he has been the source of inspiration and insight for many of my Biology and Neuroscience posts on this blog.

I took Cognitive Neuroscience with Arne when my questions about our existence and life’s purpose and the presence of a higher being where at their peak. You could say I was at the cliff’s edge, but Arne’s deep insight on the brain based on empirical evidence combined with his eloquent and somewhat irreverent method of delivering it pushed me way over that cliff.

Life made sense, became understandable, and when it didn’t, you at least had some sense on how you’re going to make it understandable with time and research. Mysticism and faith might seem fascinating, but what’s truly magical is how the brain develops and functions, how nature is so much more beautiful, interesting and unbelievable than putting your paws up and worshiping some divine being.

This 17-minute talk does not do justice to the wealth of knowledge and experience this man has. It does coax you though into rethinking several concepts you hold true about the brain, such as the stupid “we use 10% of our brain” myth and what consciousness and altered states of consciousness really are. If you broaden your horizons a bit more, you might also agree that the gods you believe in are, as Arne puts it, “pixies”

The reactions from the crowd says it all, and Arne’s statements got standing ovations and cheers by die-hard subscribers to the theories he supports (such as myself, who went straight from the airport to TEDxBeirut, ran down to the stage to say hello to Arne before even saying hello to my beloved Lori =P)

So, I really, really, really encourage you to watch the video above, and be sure I will be expanding on the topics Arne skimmed through in those 15 or so minutes.

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Biology and Neuroscience, Leb, Thoughts Tagged With: , ,

FASHAL – ARCH 040 at AUB: Making It

May 23, 2011 By 2 Comments

Taken by Carl Abou Samra on AUBsis

With everyone used to fancy names like “Econometrics” “Behavioral Neuroscience” and “Biomechanics”, the guys at the Architecture Department decided to simplify things into just “Making It”

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fail Tagged With: , ,

Work of the Z-Liberation Cell? ZwZ Gets Vandalized at AUB Job Fair

May 14, 2011 By 5 Comments

Looks like the Z-Liberation Cell are potty-mouths! Or, it’s just what happens when stands are left unattended at AUB overnight =P

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fail Tagged With: , , , , ,

Let’s Send the Mighty Bytes from AUB to NYC

May 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

As you all may (or may not) know, national Microsoft Imagine Cup competitions are starting to take place in several countries to determine which team will represent every country in the finals that will take place this July in New York City.

What is the Imagine Cup?

Simply put, it’s worlds ‘premier student technology competition. Beginning with local and regional competitions, Imagine Cup 2011 comets to an exciting finale at the Worldwide Finals held this year in New York City, United States. Want more chance to win? Overall, the idea is to show technology can help solve the world’s toughest problems. The theme of this competition is to achieve the United Nations Millennium Goals, which include tackling poverty, pollution, diseases, etc…

Imagine Cup has been taking place since 2003, as a way to get students involved in the connection between people, information and systems. Lebanon recently started participating in this competition, with team USEK winning the national competition last year and represented Lebanon in the finals in Poland.

This year, the competition is wider, with universities like AUB participating this year (after it didn’t do so last year). AUB is being represented by a team named Mighty Bytes, which is made up of 5 computer science students: Amine Takieddine, Evangello Flouty, Houry Hera Margossian, Kareem el Chaar, and my friend Joseph Saba. They designed an educational game called A Better City, which its initiative is to let a child know how to better his city by playing the video game. A Better City teaches the player several valuable messages about improving the environment around him, such as installing filters in factories, how to evade diseases, sorting garbage to recycle and other valuable messages.

The game has several levels, each having a valuable message after its completion. In order for the project to prosper, this team needs your votes in order to represent Lebanon in the worldwide finale in New York.

The way to vote for them is the following:

Go to this link: http://www.imaginecuplebanon.com/Vote.aspx?Register=true

Fill out the fields. A Hotmail/Live email address is required to vote.

After creating the account, you’ll receive an activation email from Microsoft (either Junk Mail or Inbox). Click on the link in it, and log in with the account you just created.

Click on Mighty Bytes. Click on the button Vote under the YouTube video. THANKS =D

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Guest Bloggers Tagged With: , ,

FASHAL – AUB’s Sexual Harassment Panda

April 27, 2011 By 4 Comments

Taken by Rudy Boutros using MY phone

Despite the rumors on campus, this is NOT me. I don’t know who this is or why he did it. My bet is he/she lost a bet…

BUT, it might be AUB’s very own Sexual Harassment Pan-DA!

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fail Tagged With: , , ,

8 Reasons Why AUB Cats Are More Awesome Than You

April 16, 2011 By 22 Comments

The cat community of the American University of Beirut is world-renowned for several reasons. Many AUBites adore them, and many others utterly despise them, but at the end of the day, these cats are more privileged and awesome than you are, and here’s why:

1- Diplomatic Immunity

What happens if you’re exhausted from going up the notorious Chemistry stairway-to-hell, and carelessly let your guard down by placing your heavy backpack on the ground to rest you throbbing arm? If you guessed it’s taken hostage by a cat, congratulations! You’re an AUBite!

At AUB, you cannot mistreat any resident cat. That includes handling them, beating them or even moving them off your bench, table or in our previous example, your very own backpack. With citation-happy campus police ogling you as you try to figure out how to lure the cat away from your food or stuff, the only option is usually to succumb to the feline fiends and go to class, note-less, book-less and hungry…

At AUB, a Dean’s Warning is a big deal. Two of those bad boys will send you packing. If you manhandle a cat, you get one. So, if you’re a an anti-feline nazi, why not try less cat-tolerant NDU?

2- Free Health Care

As AUBites, you’re expected to have your own health insurance, or enroll in the university Health Insurance Plan (HIP) for a certain fee every semester. But, when you’re a cat, you can forget about paying ever-rising fees, enduring bureaucratic procedures or maneuvering absurd loopholes. Why? Cause you get free health care!

In a move that would impress Socialist Obama himself, feline health is very well taken care of without the cats paying a cent (freeloaders!). AUBites might notice bad-ass cats with weird, clipped right ears. Awesome battle-scar, rough-sex bite or maybe bold fashion statement might come to mind. Unfortunately, AUB cats are too lazy to battle, most of them are sterile and they are all nudists.

Instead, the clipped ear is to differentiate the unlucky cats who already got injected with a big fat needle and had their Fallopian tubes tied. The others are either illegal immigrants, or have successfully eluded the cat authorities.

3- Free Lodging and Food

With apartments on Bliss Street no less than $1200 a month, AUB cats live, eat and of course poop on what is probably the most sought-after and prime real estate locations in Beirut: the AUB Campus.

As if their free colonization of the campus wasn’t enough, and you paying thousands of dollars a semester to live in a semi-habitable excuse of a room, they also get very well-fed!

Whilst we have a choice of either eating grease and motor-oil wrapped in paper, or a surprise funky ingredient in our sandwiches in most restaurants on Bliss Street, our beloved feline freres get to eat a well-balanced, specially prepared meal, twice a day!

Also, AUB states that the “feeding areas are placed as far away as possible from campus buildings and residences.” It’s obvious the food is so good, the AUB administration is afraid some of its students might dip into the cat’s bounty instead of dishing out serious cash for whatever the cafeteria is offering.

So, these diplomatically immune, immunized cats, are also provided with gourmet food and five-star accommodations.

4- They’ve Replaced The Indigenous Population of Overly-Pampered Animals

AUB is well-known as an important and highly crucial regional bird reserve. Rare and dwindling bird species found refuge in AUB’s densely forested areas, but now AUB Cats’ Flickr account boasts cats can do anything from “hunting in vast green areas to chilling and people-watching at College Hall”.

This would be awesome if cats were Sylvesters and birds were Tweetys… Unfortunately, Darwin’s Natural Selection gave the cats and edge and thus, to acquire the “Cat Resort” vanity stamp, AUB is quickly losing its official status as a bird sanctuary.

5- Cats Pimp Their Way To The Top, Yet Feminists Cuddle With Them

The fat cats that lay around well-known spots are usually males. They barely ever move, and you find them evenly distributed on campus. The one dearest to my heart is the fatso that has conquered the Chemistry department premises, and can usually be seen on one of the tables outside the doors of the Chem building.

He is not neutered, only females are. So, he can have his way with as many as he wants, without worrying about getting his girls pregnant. Yet, instead of being scorned for objectifying females and using them as sex tools, he is hurled with “apipi” and “abareeneh” from event the most unattractive of dateless feminists!

Jealous much?

6- Cats Make Fat People Self-Conscious

Imagine you being a fat person, eating Malek el Tawouk, with Persephone staring at you like that (yes, I name the cats I bump into frequently at AUB). Exactly, it’ll lead you to run away ashamed, and binge-eat in some underground Basement and cry yourself to sleep, all the while getting even more obese.

The cat? Aside from the satisfaction of ruining people’s lives, it probably will be able to gingerly gobble down whatever you threw away in your fit of anguish at being forever alone and on your way to your safe zone.

7- Cats Have Support Groups and Leagues

Apart from the currently defunct Animal Welfare Club, which used to lobby, fundraise and fight to the death for our feline brethren, there are rumors that a secret Cat League at AUB, composed of AUB’s most prominent faculty and administration members, engages in Ancient Egyptian cat-worshiping. I mean come on, President Dorman is after all an Egyptologist.

8- 10,000 USD To Finance AUB Cats’ Good Life

This is a topic wanna-be Che Guevaras absolutely adore. They see it as a clear betrayal of their Marxist principles (when they haven’t actually read the Communist Manifesto). And never mind their $200 signature “che” shirt that is fueling what they call the capitalist, imperialist machine, 10,000 dollars is too much to spend on cats!

The food, staff, healthcare and awareness cost a total of 10,000 USD, which is almost double what an FAS semester cost. So, one of us 7000′s tuition goes to these cats.

and THAT’s why AUB cats are more awesome than you!

special thanks to Fouad Badaoui

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fun, Leb Tagged With: , ,

Fail Loubnan – Hamra Mafia Ride

December 15, 2010 By 1 Comment

 

Taken by Joe Kanaan, Hamra Region

 

 

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fail

Lebanon’s Very Own Star of Science: Send 4 to 1084 and REPEAT!

November 25, 2010 By 3 Comments

Living in a country where Star Academy actually still exists, and where stupid people, with useless aspirations and pathetic rewards of signing one CD with Arab labels, pollute the airwaves, one of the countries of the Gulf we mock for being stupid, is holding a brilliant “Stars of Science” competition series.

One Lebanese participant, the only Lebanese one for that matter, has made it to the Qatar Foundation-funded competition’s final four.

Hind Hobeika is a 22-year-old AUB Mechanical Engineering graduate who has designed and engineered swimming goggles that monitor a swimmer’s heart rate. Hind, a passionate swimmer herself, noticed that no device existed to help swimmers monitor their heart rates, for a better work out, and of course their safety.

Here’s a YouTube of Hind and other experts explaining more:

I was surprised to hear about this from none other than Hind’s younger sister, and my good friend Youmna Hobeika. If it were some brainless, vain show of tweens singing, and a Lebanese person made it to the finalists, we would go crazy and create mobs and conspiracy theories about Saudi dialing-slaves who will beat us at sending SMSes. But science? Brains? Something useful? Something that would make the world better? We shy away… Shame!

Hind’s device is ingenious, it is original and it has filled a huge gap in the sports and fitness world with a sleek looking pair of goggles I’d love to try on some day when it hits the shelves worldwide.

So, let’s help our fellow Lebanese candidate and AUBite get the recognition she deserves, and send 4 to 1084 from your Lebanese mobile phone. You can vote as many times as you want, and voting ends Sunday! So, hurry up! Send 4 to 1084 as soon as you read this.

For numbers from other countries, go to www.starsofscience.com

Here’s another YouTube for my engineer-readers, explaining more about the engineering aspect

 

 

 

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Biology and Neuroscience, Leb Tagged With: , ,

Fail Loubnan – AUB Windows Fail

November 25, 2010 By 6 Comments

 

Taken by Wissam Khoury in Jafet Library

 

 

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Fail Tagged With: , ,
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