The Status of Beirut’s Rooftop Clubs

May 15, 2012 By 4 Comments

1- Beiruf: GONE

The club which many of us hated, but some apparently liked, didn’t get their yearly permit renewed (or just didn’t bother renewing it). So, there’s one less rooftop to worry about this season.

2- White: Opening Thursday

My favorite summer club last year, is gearing up to open the day after tomorrow: on May 17th, 2012. I’m excited to see it back up and running and return my clubbing schedule back to its joyful summer routine.

3- Skybar: Opening June 14th

After initial plans to kick off the season on June 6th, the opening has been pushed back to somewhere between 14, 15 or 16 June, 2012. I’ve been discouraged though, since my sources tell me that the door policy and staff have remained unfortunately unchanged.

4- LIFE: Multipurpose Summer Venue Under Construction

Everything is set and the venue is almost complete. It might not be your average club, since it hosts special occasions like weddings, fashion shows, etc. But will definitely feature club nights every weekend: “Life Club Nights”. The rumors that the venue was scrapped for security reasons and army objections, are definitely false.

5- Pier 7: Undergone a Facelift and Downsized?

The venue is going through a major overhaul, and perhaps rumors point that it has been shrunk. What is sure is that the main bar and stage in the middle, which was perhaps its most interesting featured, will be replaced by tables, and the bar will be on the seaside where the DJ booth used to be last summer. Also, the notorious glass containers have been reduced to only two. I will try to sneak in and get a few photos to confirm or debunk these rumors.

Pier 7 has also struck a deal with MixFM this summer, after the latter’s relationship with Sky Management seemed to fall apart. So expect MixFM’s legendary club nights to be featured in Pier 7′s new, revamped venue. Also, they’re hiring, so if you’re looking for a summer job, why not try to apply?

6- There’s a New Rooftop Club in Town!

I won’t tell you anymore before I get a chance to take a few photos, but, it’s set to open up in June and the people behind are fresh in the clubbing scene, bringing a much-welcome new blood to the industry. It’s close to Pier 7 and White, further cementing the clubbing status of that once-derelict industrial area.

Conclusion

Summer’s looking interesting this year, and I’ll keep you posted within the next few days and weeks to make sure you guys are the first to know about all things nightlife and summer related. Have I missed something? Please feel free to share with me!

Filed Under: Clubs, Leaks Tagged With: , , , ,

February 30 Review

May 2, 2012 By 1 Comment

Whether it’s the swing-set seat, the half-a-motorcycle stool, the cut-up Sukleen can or maybe even the 20-liter water bottle you choose to sit on, one thing’s for sure: you always have something to look at in February 30.

The attention to detail in making every single centimeter as quirky as possible is honestly very impressive. The walls, furniture, floors, art work, bar, graffiti and other artwork will help your eyes stay busy if your date’s boring or your business meeting is a drag, or your one-too-many drinks have made everything seem a little more interesting and novel.

It’s hard to describe in words really, that’s why I asked for some pro-photos of the place which I’ve attached below. So I’m gonna move on from the decor and talk about the other things at a bar: food, drinks and music.

The food is also a bit weird, with items on the menu that might make you say “Really?”. I’d recommend the mini-burgers. One of them comes with raspberry jam, and I must say, the clash of somewhat opposing flavors is amazing. My friend and editor of Ragmag, Fida, swears on their risotto too, but I’d still go with the burgers =P

I can’t really talk about the drinks there, cause as you all know I’m not a big fan of alcohol, but what I can vouch for are the non-alcoholic ones. I had the vanilla virgin colada, and it was pretty good. Not too much shaved ice, not too thick and creamy either, but just right.

The music is just as ecstatic as the place, with a bit of Arabic classics giving way to some indie rock and maybe even some lounge music. It’s sorta like the playlists you make on your iTunes, songs you love, but not necessarily related to each other or the same genre.

Verdict: Love it, fits perfectly in Hamra and good for a drink, or lunch in the day when it’s less crowded
Price: 10-20 USD should be more than enough for a drink or two.
Atmosphere: Sophisticated, perhaps bordering on the hipster, but the fun, laid back kind of hipster!
Music: Everything
Staff: Friendly, very helpful and good sense of humor
Location: Hamra, the alleyway

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Meet We Run Beirut

April 28, 2012 By 6 Comments


Writing this blog has given me the privilege of meeting a lot of awesome people over the past two years. I’ve met people from as far away as San Francisco and Miami, and even from places I hadn’t even heard of like Andorra. That’s why I am starting this new series on the blog, where I sit down with people I think are awesome and whose stories I think would be cool to share with all of you.

Naturally, Tim and Tres, better known as the pair behind We Run Beirut, seemed like the perfect people to kickstart this series with. I met them last summer, and got drunk for the one and only time in my life at one of their parties. Here’s what I asked them after walking into Tim’s Beirut apartment as he was cooking up, wait for it…Mloukhieh!

Tim Winters is from New York state, and is a linguistics graduate. Tres Colacion is an international studies graduate from Los Angeles. They met each other in 2009 in Beirut while taking the summer Arabic program at LAU Beirut. Whilst most of their classmates chose Cairo or Jordan, Tres and Tim did their research and saw Beirut was not too shabby when it came to stuff that happen at night.

The pair loved Beirut, but after completing their summer exchange program, they both headed back to the US to finish up their degrees. Tim had begun to settle, found a job and got a place. Tres though, was bored and two bad break ups later, they called each other up and in the summer of 2010, the pair was back in Beirut.

After 3 months in the city, Tres had the idea for We Run Beirut cooking up in his mind. At first, Tres and Tim scouted all the underground parties in Beirut and became familiar with the local scene. All of us had our picture taken and watermarked with the “We Run Beirut” logo at some point. Which brings me to one of the questions I asked them: “What’s up with the name?”

Tres replied: “People think it’s arrogant and bold, but we didn’t mean the “we” as in me and Tim. Beirut is a young city and its rebirth is all about the young people. These young people are the underground party scene, in a city that is still forming itself versus older established cities. So, we as in all of us in the underground party scene, this generation run this city.”

Tres went on to explain why he thought We Run Beirut’s coverage was necessary: “We found all these different vibrant  parties and party crews, but no one was documenting them. That’s why We Run Beirut was set up, and covered everything from obscure dubstep parties, to Cotton Candy, Acousmatik and other underground gigs”

Tim and Tres saw that a lot of people were into the party scene and that Beirut had more to offer than the “rooftop bars” as they called it, seeing how few people actually dance. So, in September 2010, the We Run Beirut parties were born after a Monot club owner offered up a venue.

I asked Tim what was different about Lebanese clubbers, here’s what he had to say: “Well, you guys can smoke inside here. Back home, you gotta go out to have a cigarette and it just messes up the whole party dynamic. What’s also weird here is that you pay after you have your drinks. Beirut is a city that loves to party, and the amount of alcohol people consume here is crazy. The open bar concept doesn’t really exist back home. But, people here handle their liquor better, they don’t fight or throw up as much as in the states. I guess it’s cause Beirut is a small city, and everyone knows each other.”

I went on to ask Tim what he’d change if he could, and he came out immediately and said: “I wish people would focus more on their dancing and rhythm. It should be all about the dancing, dance-offs, you know”

Tres though, went deeper and said: “I wish there were clubs in Beirut. You can’t create a memorable night in a fancy place where social etiquette needs to be maintained” referring to Beirut’s famous rooftop clubs. He went on “there’s no club for the people we party with. But that’s sorta like a double-edged sword, cause if there were such a club, we wouldn’t still be here two years later doing parties, neither would the other party crews in town. So it’s sorta good and bad at the same time.”

Then, I had to ask the obvious question: Are you spies? Time and Tres chuckled and replied, “who are we spying on? Drunk clubbers? We’d also have a nice car, or a car for that matter, and Tim would have some furniture at his place” waving around the spacious Mar Mikhael room with just a bed, a table and some DJ equipment.

Then I asked the cliche question: “what’s next for WRB?”

The pair replied “diversifying and focusing on club nights more. Summer is full of big production, crazy events, so a smaller, cozier environment would be perfect. It also helps you build the scene and discover new talents which would otherwise find it difficult to make an appearance. A good example was the You Say We Say series, which developed into a sort of collective, opening up chances for new DJs and getting back to the basics kinda thing.”

When I asked them what was the plan further down the road, they just answered “making it better.” When I pressed on and said “5 years from now, what will you be doing?” That’s when they both admitted they bought one-way tickets to Beirut, and that they had never imagined they’d stay two whole years. “It’s the Lebanese influence on us: it’s all about the next weekend, not the future. Lotsa trial and error, with lotsa errors, but lotsa good stuff too!”

During the day though, Tim and Tres have different jobs. Tim is a music producer, and one of his remixes for famous Dutch producer, Romax, is gonna be released on Beatport soon! Romax in turn is going to remix some of Tim’s productions and release those too. Tim also works with labels back in his home state of New York, and is focusing on that when he’s not partying it up.

Tres works as a copywriter at Interesting Times, the agency behind many cool campaigns such as the LB beer one. Here, Tres highlighted again the rationale behind the “We Run Beirut” name: “Even before I took the job, we supported the different, the young and the new. One example was LB beer, the fresh face of local beer which has gone far with young people in Lebanon.”

So, that’s it ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed reading this interview as much as I enjoyed doing it. Oh, and by the way, guess who might be spinning a set in the next We Run Beirut event? =P

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Filed Under: Clubs

Lotus Cars in Beirut with 2007 F1 Champ Kimi Raikonnen

March 27, 2012 By 2 Comments

As I had leaked a few days earlier, Lotus cars was launched (or re-launched) in Lebanon last night at MAD club in Beirut. Of course, the guest of honor was none other than 2007 F1 Champ Kimi Raikonnen. So, understandably, the crowd was a mix of diehard F1 fans as well as connoisseurs of all things that run on petrol.

The full Lotus arsenal was displayed on a red carpet at Mad’s door, which on the inside was plastered with photos of the Elise and other models the company is famous for. A special stage was erected with “Lotus is Back” and where the execs from Lebanon and the parent company took to the stage and formally launched the luxury car brand in Lebanon, whose dealership will be located somewhere near Zaitunay Bay and the Four Seasons Hotel.

Kimi’s short interview was short, and the “Ice Man” nickname was well-deserved, with short answers and a hurried composure on stage. He did however delight fans, and my friend John managed to snatch an autograph from him. If you’re one of the veteran fans, here’s the video of the interview last night courtesy of Biser3a.com

Filed Under: Clubs

JUSTICE Live Tour Review

March 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I was in Florida, enjoying the sand and sun when I got a text message from one of those friends you immediately become close to after the first encounter: Lola. She asked me if I was a fan of Justice, and I replied yes, even though their indie-rock-leaning often makes me hesitate confessing my love for them in public. Minutes later, we had tickets to attend the third leg of their new world tour in Boston.

The venue, House of Blues, is across the street from the historic Fenway Park, home to the Boston Red Sox and the first and only place I’ll ever watch the most boring game on Earth: baseball. It’s outside facade is misleading, you’d think the place was just another bar or restaurant. On the inside though, it’s a massive warehouse-like area with a main arena and two smaller upper levels.

We were of course in the main arena, where all the cool people who want to enjoy themselves and dance are. I’d estimate somewhere between 4000 and 5000 people attended, and we all came early. We were there by 7:00PM and the show started at 8:00PM sharp with Busy P, a French DJ who impressed us deeply with his analog-feel mastery of electro music. I kept my dancing at a minimum during his set though, I was saving myself for the main act!

Then, as I had foretold, they opened with “Genesis” and followed it up with a very extended version of “Civilization”. The trademark stage with the huge illuminated Justice Cross then opened up, revealing a keyboard which each half of the French duo played at one point during the concert. Another delightful surprise was when the music stopped for a few minutes, and Justice froze on stage, till someone finally caught on and began singing “We are your friends” which brought the duo back to life and the speakers blazing “you’ll never have to be alone again”

Other tracks like their remix of D.A.N.C.E and On’n'On made the night complete, with song after song making every single hand fly up into the air and every pair of shoes stomp with the bass. The energy of the crowd was beautiful, everyone was happy and polite, no shoving and angry faces like you see in Beirut events. What was awesome was the punctuality too. It was a Monday and most of us had work or university the next day, so the concert began 7 and was wrapping up before midnight, allowing you both a healthy dose of partying, but enough hours to recover for the next day!

All in all, it was an amazing night and the cherry on top of my USA tour. I can now cross off Justice Live from my bucket list and say I made a very good friend in the process, so, thanks Lola! And you can all be jealous of us now =P

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Mary Poppins on Broadway Review

March 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment


Mary Poppins was a childhood favorite of mine. The nanny with the parrot-umbrella who could fly and pull out just about anything from here purse, did indeed help the “medicine go down” for me as a child.

That is why during my stay in New York, I decided to buy two tickets to watch the Disney Broadway show rendition of this classic 17 Cherry Tree Lane story. The result was being mind-blown beyond expression, and I can very safely say it was worth every single penny.

So, on Saturday, Yara and myself made our way to the New Amsterdam Theater on Broadway Street and settled into the beautifully designed amphitheater. Ornate sculptures and bas-reliefs decorate the balconies and box seats, and murals made the dome-shaped ceiling all the more grand. We sat in the orchestra area, only a handful of rows away from the stage.

Before I talk about the acting, actors and actresses, allow me to declare that the set, effects and props were absolutely astonishing. The illusion of Mary Poppins’ bottomless bag was created live, with the bag, seemingly placed on a table whose underbelly was visible, transparent and empty, concealing a lamp, a bed, and other objects which could not possibly fit in there.

The sets were also beautifully designed, with the houses, stories, parks and scenery being fully movable, sprouting up from under the stage, or disappearing into the ceiling, all automatically and with seamless, technologically-sexy automated transitions.

The dances were also impressive, with some ballet, tap-dancing, river-dancing and some contemporary choreographic pieces keeping things interesting and novel. The songs included favorites like “a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down”, “chim, chimeney, chim chim, charoo” and “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”, all of which made my eyes swell with fond memories.

Novel songs included some breath-taking opera-like segments, clap-inducing jazzy tunes and good old-fashioned musicals with the British twist of Marry Poppins and chimneysweepers. The actors and actresses were magnificent as well, with humor, cuteness, wickedness, spunkiness and other realistically portrayed traits coming to life on the stage in vivid costumes and light effects.

The play was not without impressive aerobics and stunts either, with some wall-walking, umbrella-flying and kite-taming that will make you instantly clap in amusement. To top it all off, the cast members came down at the end of the fantastic show, and held buckets for donations, with freebies like aprons, umbrellas, cookbooks and autographs given away for every donation that will go into cancer and AIDS research. Oh, and the next day, I received a delightful personalized email from Disney Broadway thanking me for showing up and being part of the magic. How awesome is that?

So, in New York? Visiting? A Broadway show is an absolute MUST. I’d definitely recommend Mary Poppins, however, friends of mine who have seen other shows recommend them highly too. So, choose the most appealing one for you, and go, cross it off your bucket list!

Tip: go to www.broadwaybox.com where you get a discount code you can use
Filed Under: Clubs, Uncategorized, USA Tagged With: , , ,

Miami Beach Review

March 19, 2012 By 2 Comments


As a teen, my days were spent playing video games. I was a heavy gamer by day, heavy clubber by night. One of the video games I wasted most time on was Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (GTA Vice City). This game takes place in South Beach, Miami, and that is exactly where my cousin Majid and I went.

The real Miami Beach area was exactly the same as I remember from the game. Everything looked surreally familiar, as if I had been there loads of times before. The shore, the trees, the streets, the hotels, the venues, the cars, the police in shorts, the hookers in bikinis, etc. Everything was insanely similar to the game, making it a double whammy for me: Miami Beach is awesome, and it was living one of my favorite video games, in real life! (Although I didn’t assault police, kill hookers or steal cars :P )

We went to Mango’s Tropical Cafe, which was unexpectedly amazing. It is a famous bar, with plenty of ultraviolet light bulbs and luminescent murals and graffiti. It has a massive lineup of live acts that include everything from reggae singers, to showgirls, live bands, salsa dancers, and even bachelorette special performances! I must say, they were extremely entertaining and the frequency and diversity of the acts made our stay there almost silent, and mesmerized with act after act in this world-famous venue.

Nikki Beach was virtually empty for some reason, which was a major let-down. But, Amnesia Miami and LIV more than made up for that. My only regret? Not being able to get tickets to the WMC and UMF events… Next time!

Filed Under: Clubs, USA Tagged With: , , ,

The Kandy Masquerade at the Playboy Mansion: The World’s Best Party, and I was there!

February 26, 2012 By 6 Comments

If you didn’t know, I was one of the many Stoli Vodka Originals who won a trip to LA to party at the Playboy Mansion, for the 2012 Kandy Masquerade. It was only a few hours ago, and I’m already writing the review and publishing almost 70 photographs (mostly of me with insanely gorgeous playmates and models). So, here’s how it went down:

Body painted and greeting us at the door!

The attire for guys is very formal, with suits and ties and bow ties of all shapes, sizes and styles. The girls’ attire was much more interesting, with lingerie and carnaval-like wardrobes which they themselves designed and made, with a few designer items as well. Some girls were not dressed at all, and were instead body painted, one of the hallmarks of the Kandy Masquerade eye candy!

The venue was divided into several parts. The main area was a massive tent where the dancefloor, tables, lounges and DJs and performers were located. On that note, the lienup included two artists I adore: Dirty South and Jes!

The interior was divided into sections, with the hottest booths and tables being Stoli’s, where we (and heff!) were seated. The outdoor area was around the famous pool and waterfall, where gourmet food and a bar made of solid ice kept everyone’s hands busy with drinks or finger-food. On the far side of the pool, a rush of photos of you was taken over a 6-second period, which would be printed out and binded together, so when you flip through them, you see yourself animated! Which was a wicked awesome souvenir!

The illusion that the party is full of inappropriate behavior is completely inaccurate. In fact, the party-goers are the creme de la creme of clubbers from across the world, with the everyone being very friendly and meeting almost everyone there. In other words, it’s not every person on a table, it’s every person walking around all over the place meeting and chatting up everyone present. You meet a lot of interesting people too, which is normal considering you need to apply for a ticket and be handpicked by the organizers.

Kim and me! =D

I met Heff on his way to his booth, but the security guard 3 times my size didn’t let me take a photo. I managed to tell him it was “an honor meeting him” and that “I wasn’t sure you’d be attending”, to which he replied “I wouldn’t miss one of my parties”… That’s one awesome octogenarian! I also saw Kimberly Philips, Playboy’s Miss September 2009, whom I spent most of the party with. She’s truly an amazing person, funny, witty and extremely nice (and absolutely gorgeous of course!). I have my good friend Jessica Faisal to thank for introducing me to the Kim! Tiffany, another Playboy bunny, was really nice too. But, perhaps the most interesting person I met that night was Olivia, who was as big a deadmau5 fan as myself, and went crazy when “Remember” was played! Oh! And the cutest thing that happened last night was the souvenir booth, where in those 6 seconds, a guy decided to propose to his date, forever immortalizing that moment in a paper flipbook from the Kandy Masquerade at the Playboy Mansion… That must be a first!

All in all, it was arguably the best party I’ve ever attended. The venue: legendary. The drinks: Stoli. The food: food for angels. The music: perfect. The girls: absolutely gorgeous. The guests: handpicked from across the globe. I feel lucky to have attended such a party and made so many new friends. From now on, I’ll probably change my Twitter bio and add to it “partied at the Playboy Mansion =P”. And, for those of you secretly wondering to themselves if I did anything naughty or got lucky, I didn’t. I have my beloved Lori waiting for me back home, and there aren’t enough Playboy bunnies in the world to change that.

I’d like to of course thank Stoli, and especially Stoli Leb for flying us all the way to LA, putting us in limos and suites and letting us be part of the legendary, third annual Kandy Masquerade with VIP status… Sandy, Rolland and George, I love you guys! =D <3 BFFs after this awesome trip :’)

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Life Club Beirut Review

February 1, 2012 By 6 Comments

Most of you have heard about Life Beirut by now. Some of you might’ve already tried it too. Life Beirut is the newest addition to Beirut’s mega-club scene. The gargantuan, multi-level club with the retractable roof is set to open this Thursday, but it’s been in soft-opening mode for a few weeks and after trying it twice, I feel a review is in order right before the grand opening.

Life is located right behind B018 in the Karantina region. It’s in the building adjacent to Sleep Comfort’s, on the top level. After going in past the well-mannered bouncers and courteous host, an interactive projection with the club’s name separates the two entrances into the club’s main area.

After going up the stairs, you find yourself at the topmost level of the club, which runs along both sides as well as the back of the club. On the opposite side is where the stage is. The DJ booth is located on the middle-level at the center of the club, immersing the DJs and VJs into the crowd, versus the top-down format you usually see.

The mid-level is like the topmost one, with tables and balustrades providing plenty of dancing space minus the shoving and pushing. The lowest level has tables which are arguably the center of attention, with the spotlights and everyone else’s attention focused on the area adjacent to the stage with the beautiful backdrop of Beirut’s Port and its massive cranes and silos.

The light system is impressive and fits perfectly with the club’s architecture. It’s similar to the old Palais by Crystal’s in terms of creating the surreal visuals minus the use of LED screens, creating a more immersive experience. Speaking of architecture, contrary to what many people believe is law, a retractable roof does not mean Bernard Khoury, but an architecture firm called Creative-LABS.

Oh, and yes, the club’s roof opens to reveal the night sky and the fireworks which are a regular addition in the night’s entertainment, which includes dancers and a virtual DJ deck on a large touch-screen on stage (which the guys need to practice on more and probably switch from Windows =P).

The music is played by resident DJs Dania, Youssef Kanaan and Haytham Fawaz (who is one of the stakeholders which I think is pretty cool) and it’s mainly crowd-pleasing, mildly remixed radio House and RnB hits. As for other stakeholders, they include Dani Khairallah (Dani K) so even though they’re not affiliated with the big clubbing scene holding groups, there’s plenty of clubbing experience that went into creating this club.

Now, to the part you all worry about: the prices. The standard vodka bottle is the 750ml Russian Standard bottle, which sells for 160USD a piece. So, for a table of 12 people and two vodka bottles you could manage to have a good time for 25-30USD. As for the typical age of the clubbers present, it included a wide spectrum of ages but was mainly older clubbers between the ages of 25-30 year olds dressed smart.

Verdict: Life Beirut is worthy addition to the Lebanese winter clubbing scene. The interior is impressive and the entertainment elements are plenty.
Price: 60-70 USD should be more than enough for you and your date on a table of friends.
Atmosphere: Typical Lebanese joie-de-vivre spirit, people dress to impress and it’s about enjoying people-watching as much as it is clubbing, with every table within the view of the other.
Music: Commercial House and RnB
Staff: Waiters need a bit of work, but the hostesses and hosts are very accommodating.
Location: Karantina area

Filed Under: Clubs

Beirut Has a Comedy Club, and It’s Hilarious

January 30, 2012 By 6 Comments

Sometimes, I fear Beirut has nothing more to offer. Fortunately, more times than not, this city proves me very , very wrong. On Saturday, I was planning to spend a typical Saturday night probably hitting Gemmayzeh then clubbing somewhere. BUT, while getting dressed and simultaneously checking my Facebook, I found something interesting on my newsfeed: 4 local stand up comedians, in a few hours, somewhere in Beirut. A phone call later, I had booked two seats for Lori and me at The Comedy Club in Monot.

The funny business starts on the phone, for when I called to reserve I asked “what should one do to attend tonite” and the nice lady on the phone said in a matter of fact-ly voice “First, reserve. Then, come and enjoy.” So, even before laying eyes on the place, I was starting to like it.

The Comedy Club is located right above Pacifico in Monot, so it wasn’t that hard to find. We took a small table for two in the middle of the club and were surprised to find a packed house. The club serves food as well, so Lori had some chicken with sauteed vegetables and fries and I had a cup of orange juice (-_-). Around 11:00 PM, the show began with Elie Mitri breaking the ice and letting a few dirty words out to prepare for the unapologetically hilarious pieces that were to follow.

Elie Mitri is the “batee2″ guy in MTCtouch’s hilarious TV commercials, he was also the host of the night and the founder of the club. His chilled and cool method of delivering jokes will catch you off-guard and have you suddenly bursting out in laughter. The air of familiarity in the room was also refreshing, as if everyone present were very good friends and it was ok to let out a piglet-snort every now and then.

Next came Dany Sakr, whose piece included healthy portions of sex and weed in Lebanon. Dany’s piece was extremely relatable to, with the jokes we crack about people in Lebanon who smoke weed and think they’re outsmarting people who don’t and the police by calling it “chocolat bi 50,000 alf” or “7ashix.” Another hilarious one was about a sexual encounter with a French girl in his aunt’s house up in Douar, where the fridge had nothing in it but debs el kharoob (molases) instead of the sexier chocolate syrup for example. Skype-sex, weed, s&m… Dany handled it all like a boss. My favorite was how his mother is in “appear offline” mode sometimes, and simply recites what a mother should say without paying attention to what Dany tells her, like his answer to “kif ray7in?” is “bi siyaret bugs bunny el khadra” to which his artist mom replies “illo ma yesra3″. Oh, and did I forget to mention Dany’s mothers and brother, included in some of his jokes, were in the audience?

Up next was Joe Rahmeh, all the way from Aaynata El Arez, a land famous for weed production and a notoriously heavy accent. The butt of many of Joe’s jokes was Minister of Electricity Gebran Bassil, deservedly so in my opinion. Joe also cracked jokes about his typical Lebanese village father, how burning marijuana plants in bulk by the police made people up there happy for two months, going “hunting” without guns since the birds were also on the floor, high. Joe’s relationship advice was also hilarious, which led into some improv towards the end of his gig. He was interactive with the crowd, much to Lori’s dismay who became the volunteer for all improv sessions that night. Though, I’m proud because when Joe asked for something guys hate that girls do, “heels” was Lori’s answer, and I couldn’t agree more ladies!

The final comedian was a resident doctor at Hotel Dieu, Elias Ghoussoub. When you look at Elie, you feel he’s that mean, always-angry, hates-everyone person who you’d want to avoid. That’s until he starts spewing his laugh-out-loud venom on stage. He started off cracking jokes about Elie Mitri, with the most hilarious one being “awwal marra t3arrafat 3a Elie, aleh inno 3odwo el zakari fiyyeh… ya3ne ayro fiyyeh. Iltillo mni7 iltilleh ma kenit mentebih” to which young and old, hipster and tante clapped to. Elias then went on to describe Christmas dinner with his family, which was also absolutely hilarious. His mean, nerdy demeanor makes his punch lines all the more powerful. Later followed some improv, and with Lori’s help, he played out a movie  scenario called “7abibi darabneh bil basterma.”

All in all, we had a blast at The Comedy Club. I am extremely glad we decided to go, and this is a discovery I definitely want to share with all of you. The charge for the show is just 10,000 LBP per person, the rest is whatever drinks or food you order, which is a massive deal for a Saturday night and 4 comedians live! The very friendly atmosphere also adds to the magic of the place, which is refreshingly “underground” and non-mainstream. So, if you thought Lebanon has just a couple of comedians who joke in English and rework Pablo Francisco jokes, think again and try The Comedy Club’s alternating, very Lebanese lineup every week (and hopefully twice per week too). Check their Facebook page for their schedules!

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Dictateur: My New Favorite Spot

January 12, 2012 By 1 Comment

It’s been so long since I discovered a place I fell in love with so quickly. This out-of-the-way venue has been open for more than a month and its loyal fans already span across several countries. I sometimes use the alley it’s on to escape traffic when I’m going back home, and remember thinking to myself “what a horrible choice of location.” Several suggestions I try it later, Lori and I made our way to the outskirts of Mar Mikhael street behind Al Mandaloun, and were seriously impressed.


It’s hard to describe Dictateur in one word. The venue is divided into several sections, each of which could be a stand-alone venue. A bar area, a lounge area, a diner-style seats area, an outdoor area and even a roof-top like section make the place a bar-restaurant-club-lounge-cafe type of place suitable for so many different times and occasions.

Let’s start off with the outside. It’s an inconspicuous facade which at first glance gives you impression it’s just a one-room bar like any other. The whole is decorated with the place’s trademark signature, a series of numbers separated by forward slashes that represent something in Dictateur. For example, 030 / 004 / 287 is painted on the wall outside. The numbers stand for Badawi street, bike racks, and neighbors, respectively.

Once you go in, you can either go to your left into the bar area, or soldier on forward where two ramps lead to the rooftop area, or the lower outdoor space and lounge under it. Probably the most amusing piece of furniture is a toilet seat transformed into a flower pot, with soil and few blossoms sprouting out of it. This spot is ideal in summer or when the weather’s nice. It’s also quieter than the lower outdoor area, where the dancing happens sometimes, making it perfect for a nice drink and conversation.

The outdoor area is lit with a massive custom-made, do-it-yourself style “chandelier” made of the light-bulbs you find at your mechanic’s, which are hung on the hood as he inspects your car’s motor. Two dozen or so of these lightbulbs are arranged in a circle, lighting up the outdoor area in that yellowish-orange aura you see in the photos.

The lounge area is adjacent to the outdoor section and directly under the rooftop area. It has large and long tables, perfect for a large group, It also has very comfortable couches for two or three people, which is where Lori and I sat on that extremely cold night.

Most lamps, decorations and other items in Dictateur are do-it-yourself stuff, such as three massive lamps made of tape inside the lounge as well as the container-like wooden row of diner-style tables under the ramp that leads to the rooftop area. The XXX / XXX / XXX format is repeated several times, indicating different numbers for different things, such as how many meters of tape were used, for how many lamps. Or, how much alcohol the storage area fits. That, for a slightly OCD-ish person like me when it comes to stuff like that, was divine.

The music was also good. In a place like that, I’d be afraid of listening to soft rock, oldies and other repulsive genres of music. Much to my delight, it was splendid lounge music, with just the right tempo, volume and enough electronic and acoustic elements to please everyone present. It not being radio garbage is also a plus, after all, paying to listen to something you can turn on in your car for free, is a rip-off in my opinion.

The prices are also fair and much cheaper than some of its neighbors. A beer is for 7,000 LBP and you can get a decent salad for as little as 10,000 LBP. My friend Liliane recommends the goat cheese and artichoke salad on Foursquare, which is what I’ll be having next time!

So, all in all, I absolutely adored the place. Definitely one of my favorites, if not the favorite for now. I seriously recommend you try it yourself and understand what I’m really talking about. It’s a nice, down-to-earth place which is still hipster-free and is actually an underground venue, not just cause its cool. Proof? The out-of-the-way venue and low-key publicity which is basically just word of mouth as far as I can tell.

They have a facebook, so please don’t ask me about contact details =P It’s also fully wheelchair accessible =)

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MAD Beirut Opening Review

December 17, 2011 By 3 Comments

Mad Beirut is open, and last night I created the Foursquare venue which so many of us will be checking into this season. The middle-floor of the White Beirut building has been completely transformed into the club you see below. I’ve taken the liberty of compiling a before-and-after photo below.

As you can see, it has come a long way. The overall distribution of the bar, tables and seats is somewhat similar to White’s, with the bar running down the middle flanked by high tables on both sides, then on a more elevated level sofa-like chairs on lower tables.

What’s also nice is that walkways on both sides of the club have been made allowing you to travel to and fro without needing to shove or get shoved or a drink spilled on you. On the far side of the club is a grid of bright lights which are turned on during bass drops in the music, on the other side, the wall is completely covered with LED screens, above which the DJ booth is located.

The roof has a rhombus grid of multicolored lightbulbs that change with the music’s mood and the visuals on the screen. What was also cool is the multi-colored lasers whose reach spans the whole club, with white, violet and red laser shows accompanying the other visual elements. In other words, the visuals are pretty cool.

The music has the same style and flow we’re used to in summer. DJ Bob, Jad and Elie do a fantastic job of mashing up the favorite commercial House and RnB tracks and their remixes.

What’s important to note is that the club and visuals are still not complete. The walls are going to be covered with artwork, though I have yet to find out what kind. Also, the visuals were still being put through their paces and soon enough, the trippy, massive visuals White used to broadcast will be migrating downstairs.

If it gets too stuffy, there’s a lounge reception area where you can go rest your weary feet. Also, if it’s not too cold, you can go out on the balcony and finish off your drink and cool down before going back in to the club.

This was just the opening review. I’ll follow it up with a proper review with the things you want to know like table prices and reservations when I get the chance to go to Mad again. But, for now, Mad is definitely one of the venues I’ll be checking into on Foursquare this winter season.

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