The Salary Increase Fiasco Explained

January 29, 2012 By 3 Comments

To the layperson like me, watching the news about the planned wage hikes and the resulting back-and-forth between concerned parties would make you confused and come to the conclusion that either the minister is being childish, the employers are scheming and the workers don’t know what’s best for them.

Today, I had the chance to sit with one of the 12 members of the General Labor Union council (Ittihad 3ommalli 3am), and its representative in the Lebanese Labor Court (ma7akem el 3amal) and discuss this issue in-depth with people immediately concerned with this whole matter. Here’s what I managed to get

What was the problem exactly?

In 1995, labor unions demanded reimbursement for transportation (badal el na2el) seeing how affordable public transportation was practically non-existent in Lebanon. Back then, a measly 2,000 LBP was sanctioned by the cabinet for every day you showed up at work. This means that this reimbursement wasn’t given when you missed work or off, and was not included in your retirement salary’s plan.

Minister of Labor Charble Nahhas considers this work-around as illegal, and wants to include transportation fees and scholarship fees into the bulk of the salary. This would amount to 200,000 LBP added to each salary. Which means that employers would pay 200,000 LBP + 21.5% for welfare and retirement funds. Meaning more than 242,000 LBP in extra fees (apart from a wage hike).

This is of course massive news for workers, and given Charbel Nahhas’ Communist background, his unwavering, yet illogical clinging to his stance is understandable. However, looking at things objectively makes us realize that a wage hike + the 242,000LBP would mean that businesses would have to fire people to cope, since the economy isn’t at it’s finest. That is why, some might be puzzled at this, but the workers were against including the 242,000 LBP into their salaries. A tough, but pragmatic compromise I think.

Another problem was the 200,000 LBP lumpsum increase in 2008 by PM Fouad Siniora’s government back then. Technically, it was illegal. So, a legal work-around was created to compensate for it, and here’s what it looks like:

Let’s suppose your salary is 800,000 LBP, here’s what happens with the passed cabinet bill

100% increase for the first 400,000 LBP plus a 9% increase for the second 400,000 LBP, minus the 200,000 LBP of 2008 = Your New Salary

(800K + 400K + 36K) – 200K = 1,036,000 LBP

 So, this silly example of mathematical gymnastics makes things legal and was passed by the cabinet and approved by the Shoora Council.

Why did the Shoora Council intervene?

We rarely hear of the Shoora Council intervening. That’s because its opinion is non-binding when concernend parties are in agreement. However, when concerned parties are at odds, the Shoora Council verdict becomes legally binding.

What happened to the transportation reimbursement?

It will remain at 8,000 LBP per working day you show up. What’s unfair is that it is not according to how far you live. So, while one might live within walking distance of his/her place of employment and takes the 8,000 LBP as extra revenue, someone who lives three “services” away will be paying from their salary to be able to get to work. This is another problem with the badal na2el which would be cool to solve.

Why didn’t they just subsidize fuel instead?

That was something I asked myself, and apparently the labor unions demanded this instead of the wage hike. Even though this might solve the whole problem, and include all the Lebanese instead of just the 40% on the payroll (not self-employed or part-timers, ie the ones this law affects).

The reason is a sinister one, but unfortunately true. Fuel is a lot of money, and direct money for the government. By direct, it means you pay, you get. Unlike electricity for example, which you could use up and not pay for. Everyone in Lebanon pays for fuel too, so compromising this vital lifeline for the government’s coffers is unthinkable, unfortunately for us.

Why did prices inflate 4 times and the salary just once?

Because the oligopolies that control so many products and services are unfair and mafia-like. The way to fix this is via the Ministry of Economy’s customer protection agency (7imayat al mustahlek). Unfortunately, the corruptness and under-funding of this sector makes it virtually useless. But, if you’re a business and buy in bulk, call them up and complain… Who knows, perhaps it will fall on ears that listen and act!

Also, interesting fact: the municipality and its police officers have the authority to inspect food quality and prices in their jurisdiction, and take the necessary measures which could be anything from a fine to closing down the guilty establishment and legal prosecution.

Conclusion?

This is just too messed up.

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts

Names and Faces of MPs Who Are NOT Against Rape + Protest on January 14

January 2, 2012 By 55 Comments

You guys (and gals) know I hate religion. Religion is cool when you’re a spineless person in need for some fake reassurance and a reason to act human. That’s cool cause it only affects you. However, religion isn’t cool when it affects other people’s lives negatively. One negative way, as I’m sure all women and any person in his/her right mind would tell you, is being raped. Rape is one of the most heinous crimes people commit, up there with murder and child molestation.

Unfortunately, in Lebanon, where “honor” crimes were outlawed only last year, rape is still legal when the parties are married, or get married after the crime. Wow, how embarrassing and stupid… Every time I hear or think of this, I think “seriously?!” and wonder if we’re going to hold public beheadings and make Sharia Law the law of the land next.

What’s worse, is that the draft law that we all thought would pass with ease in parliament, has been held up for months as religious fundamentalists try to alter the draft law, making it defunct and ceremonial (the way they think women should be in society).

The disgusting stances of muslim religious leaders in Lebanon, calling women’s protection a “travesty to harm social and religious fabric” makes my stomach turn. But, that is to be expected from old men in robes who feel empowered by bringing down women and reducing women’s roles as “answering to men, as men answer to God”.

What’s even more disgusting is that the committee overseeing this draft law, consists mostly of non-muslims and even one of the few female MPs. I’d understand why Mohamad Jisr, Ali Ammar and of course Imad el Hout would want to hijack the law. After all, they belong to the sects whose religious heads made it not ok to protect women’s rights and in a country where these men in robes decide the fate of elections, I wouldn’t blame those MPs, they’re just boot-licking cowards in search of re-election.

Now, here I’m not blaming the whole sect of course, just its leaders. After all, people have brains and many of us are educated. For example, when I say the Vatican is retarded for being against the use of condoms and other contraceptives, that doesn’t mean all Catholics are retards. I myself was raised as a Maronite in communion with the Catholic Church and so were many of my friends. It’d be a pretty safe bet that none of them are against the use of condoms and safe sex. That’s why priests can be against condoms all they want, and preach against it day and night, but the law of the land should never ban it, and it never does in most cases because that would be endangering the lives and health of those involved. But, when retarded religious opinions and prejudices are law, that’s when the men and women in suits need to step-up to the robed men and set things right.

What’s even more disgusting, is the pressure some religious leaders have put on TVs to stop airing TV spots illustrating the horror many women still face. Blackmail at its finest, I’m sure if God existed he’d be proud of you!

Nabil Nicolas, Michel El Helou, Gilberte Zouein, Ghassan Mkheiber and Shant Jejenian have no excuse though. What’s appalling is that most are in the Free Patriotic Movement, the block who calls itself the “change and reform” block and whom I put a lot of hope in in 2009. To that, I say, shame on you, and that come next elections, I and many like me will be working fiercely to make you fail miserably in the ballot boxes. After all, some estimates put the male to female ration in Lebanon as high as 1 man for every 4 or 5 women, which means that out of every 5 votes, as many as 4 are female, who I’m sure don’t believe that the Kur’an is enough to ensure their protection from abusive husbands.

Protest January 14, 2012

I personally support this rally, and will be present at it, like many other men who are organizing themselves to lobby for gender equality and safeguarding women’s rights and safety. An example is the ABAAD NGO, which has almost 4000 fans on Facebook and that’s before the launch of their website! I recommend you follow KAFA and Nasawiya as well, two NGOs in which I have many friends and who I undoubtedly support. As for the details on the January 14 protest, here’s the FB event page.

Real Men

Real men don’t beat women. Real men don’t rape their wives. Real men will win the hearts of the women in their lives through respect and adoration, not oppression and subjugation according to religious ridiculousness.  Real men should lock up small men who take advantage of Lebanese moms, sisters and daughters.

Edit: check out this hilarious tumblr blog making fun of Imad Hout’s controversial comments. (thanks serge!)

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts

2011′s Most Popular Posts

December 31, 2011 By 1 Comment

This year was massive. I had a blast on the blog and I’ve been lucky to meet so many awesome people. We flip 2011 over with extremely high hopes for 2012. Thank you all for reading, sharing and commenting, you make it all worthwhile!

Get ready for new Fashal, leaks, analysis and of course PLENTY of reviews =D

1- N7W Scandal

This post got the highest individual hits for a past this year. This topic which galvanized so many people in Lebanon, got liked over 700 times on Facebook and was tweeted almost 150 times. In the end, we can all agree that the 14 million USD spent, were a complete waste.

2- The Infamous Sky Bar Blacklist

Though an unpleasant and one I’d prefer to forget, this was one of the most clicked upon posts of 2011. Here’s to hoping the summer of 2012 will remove this blacklist entry!

3- The Clash of the Diner Titans: Rd vs Crepaway

One thing this taught me is that we take our diners very seriously. Heck, I even got broadcasts on BBM urging me to vote on “this link” for each candidate. Thousands of votes later though, and completely unexpectedly, this post became one of the most read of 2011.

4- Pier 7 Opening Review

After being purposefully snubbed from the opening, I managed to get in and party and share with the rest of Lebanon the first photos and review of this new seaside club a couple of hours after it opened its door (which do not exist :P )

5- Armin Only in Beirut

One of my life’s most epic and emotional and moving nights. With 200+ photos and a video uploaded as soon as I got home the next morning. A fond memore of 2011…

6- The Weekly Leaks: Beirut’s Nightlife Hub-To-Be: The Citymall Area

This was the most viewed Weekly Leak of 2011. My unveiling of the prospective locations of Pier 7 and White well before they broke ground in construction. Also includes scrapped plans of the originally planned Pier 7 in the Port region

7- 15 Reasons Why Maryam Nour Should be in a Mental Health Institute

Hilarious, sad and scary! Shared over 300 times on Facebook, this definitely made a lot of people laugh in 2011

8- 3G is Finally Here

The confusion, delays and misinformation made simple and clear in laymen terms which we all can understand, not just IT and telecom people

9- 8 Reasons Why AUB Cats are More Awesome Than You

One of the things my time at AUB has taught me… =D

10- White Beirut Opening Review

The much-anticipated opening of the new White mega rooftop club with the first published photos and review of the club up and running minutes after its sound system and lights went on

Filed Under: Thoughts

The Reason I Am Going To Armin Tonite: The Anti-Israeli Groups Are Boycotting It

December 30, 2011 By 37 Comments

Armin van Buuren is my favorite DJ for many reasons. Among them is my love for his music for well over 9 years. Another is his constant presence in Beirut and him honoring us with the Armin Only epic event last January. I short, I never missed an Armin event in Lebanon, ever since his first appearance back in 2005. This time though, personal engagements on the same night, meant I could not go to Armin and be fully revitalized to celebrate NYE the next day.

However, last night I got word that the BDS chapter in Lebanon, which promote boycotting and sanctioning Israeli stuff, were boycotting Armin NYE-1 and rudely claim that “tens of political parties” don’t want him here and that  ”he is unwelcome in Lebanon”. To that, I tell the activists, if you think you speak for the rest of Lebanon, you’re the ones not welcome here. Just like any other narrow-minded ideologue who thinks he or she is Che Guevara’s descendant and believe he or she speaks on my behalf and drags everything unrelated to the Arab-Israeli conflict into the cesspool that is the curse of this region.

  1. First, allow me to point out the level of incompetence of this branch, which sporadically attempts to boycott stuff, probably cause they’re free on the said night. I’d like to remind them that back in 2007, Armin was in Tel Aviv before coming to Beirut. He landed in Amman then made his way to Beirut. Why didn’t you notice that then oh noble fighters for all that is true and right?
  2. Pro-Palestinians tend to forget that there are some humans who live in Israel. Humans who like to party like we do, who are fans of Armin too. They also forget that Armin is an artist for peace and love, part of the Trance family which is untainted by politics and war. Dragging him into our problems is stupid and asking him to take sides is unfair.
  3. I’d like to point out that on his Beirut visit, Armin van Buuren will visit a Palestinian refugee camp (which I will not name) as part of his support to an international NGO that seeks to better conditions of Palestinian refugees. So, yeah, bravo, boycott that based on your stupid visceral need to put a damper on everything, just like you disrupt lectures by an Israeli defector who was supporting your cause against his own government, just because he was born in Israel and visited Lebanon.

Please think, use your brains for more than writing disturbing poems and playing the victim on every chance you can get. The plight of Palestine is horrific and we all support their return to their nation, but that doesn’t mean we need to put a hold on our own lives because an international artist included Israel on his tours. You embarrass yourselves with the inconsistency and lack of proper research and informed decisions.

That is why, I have changed my plans and will make sure I’m at BIEL tonight to celebrate life and love. So, in a way, thank you pro-Palestinian activists, if it weren’t for your misinformed, blind, emotionally-fueled actions, I wouldn’t be going to Armin van Buuren’s gig tonight.

You for or with? Vote here

Filed Under: Thoughts

What I Would Do Next If I Were Bashar

December 21, 2011 By 14 Comments

On March 15, 2011, protestors in Syria galvanized by the Arab Spring (or rather autumn) began protesting in Daraa. Soon enough, contagion spread to other cities and districts. Soon enough as well, protestors started to die.

Syria is off-limits to media and a regime known for its corruption and repression cannot be trusted with dissemination of information. Several blunders (or are they?) of alleged videos of events in Syria turned out to be false, or of incidents from Lebanon’s May 7 clashes and the Nahr El Bared battle. What’s funny is that both the Syrian government and the opposition utilize videos taken in Lebanon to justify their stances (we should be proud!)

On December 13, the UN put the death toll in Syria at 5000 since the unrest began, which averages to about 18 deaths every single day for 9 months. 18 human beings getting killed every single day. The figures might not be accurate, but nevertheless, even one person’s life should be considered invaluable, regardless if it’s a protestor, army soldier or army defector.

What’s happening in Syria has been very tough to crack. On the one hand, innocent civilians are being killed and the government’s claims of international conspiracies are a bit too exaggerated. On the other, dozens if not hundreds of soldiers have been killed. So, it’s not exactly a peaceful uprising. It might not be the Syrian opposition, but some groups in Syria have definitely taken up arms against the government which forces one to think that if the regime magically disappears, who would replace it?

This might be a controversial statement, one bravely voiced by the Maronite Patriarch in September. Now, activists will jump in to declare that this is outrageous and what’s important is Bashar leaves. To that, I respond, look at Egypt. Drunken with revolution and blinded by a blend of enthusiasm and rage, people never considered what would come next. As you all know, the Egyptian Army’s thugs have proven as bad if not worse than Mubarak’s. Add to that 69% of the votes went to Islamic movements, and what you get is definitely not the free, secular, democratic Egypt we dreamt of. It’s an Egypt run by strongmen, remnants of the old regime and soon enough conservative Islamists i.e. not the ideal form of democracy.

Anyway, that’s not the purpose of this post. However, I have been silent about Syria for the past 9 months and felt it was time to voice some of my concerns. I am fortunate enough to have many friends in the diplomatic and political affairs world. They’re mostly Lebanese studying or working abroad, which is exactly how I like my analyses. Why? Because they’re immune to the often emotion-driven opinions in the Arab World and are somewhat more academic in their outlook on things. The distance separation helps of course, after all, it’s tough to consider international politics at play when you’re being beaten in the streets.

After lengthy conversations with a peace studies grad student, a senior bonds analyst and a junior development analyst, here are the three scenarios projected for Syria.

1- Bashar El Assad gets Assassinated

This is a highly unlikely scenario. His inner circle is a tightly knit one composed of family members and close friends and beneficiaries of the regime. Plus, whoever might want to kill Bashar has probably already been killed or is in exile. Also, if someone close to him wanted to assassinate him, they’d have done it already.

2- A Prolonged Tit-for-Tat Struggle

A more likely scenario is the current situation being prolonged for many more months. In the wake of the US withdrawal from Iraq, unflinching support for Bashar from China and Russia and upcoming elections in several of the world’s major democracies, the international community has been somewhat timid in standing up to help the Syrian people.

The Arab League, an already defunct and joke of a league is allowing the regime to buy as much time as it pleases. Turkey, who has been vociferous in supporting the oppressed Sunni majority in Syria against the regime, might back down after the regime’s Kurdish proxies began causing trouble in South-Eastern Turkey.

In other words, the reluctance of the international community to step up to its responsibilities, will allow the current situation to persist and the bloodshed to go on for as long as the regime can survive, which is a lot considering its borders are porous and allow it access to aid and trade from Lebanon and Iran via Iraq.

3- Attack Israel via Lebanese Proxies

Remember the July 2006 war? Hezbollah’s brazen attack and kidnapping of Israeli Defense Forces soldiers led to a 33-day war which left Lebanon’s infrastructure in ruins and thousands of innocent civilians dead. It’s safe to say many Lebanese people were against Hezbollah even before the devastating 2006 war. However, when Israel was pounding Lebanon, most of the haters put aside their concerns and joined in the war effort. Perhaps not in combat, but in terms of humanitarian and moral support, the opposition to Hezbollah died down during the war and in the immediate aftermath.

So, if I were a cornered dictator with an impressive arsenal and even more impressive regional proxies, I would probably do this: provoke a war with Israel, but indirectly. This would automatically put the opposition in a tight spot. As Arabs, it is of course taboo not to hate Israel and that stands true in Syria. In Lebanon, many of us, myself included, would rather keep to ourselves and not fight Israel, but others of course believe it is the sole reason they exist. So, if Hezbollah initiates, or is blamed for initiating, a substantial attack against Israel via perhaps the Golan or disputed regions like the allegedly Lebano-Syirio-Israeli Shebaa Farms, the IDF will undoubtedly retaliate in force.

Here, Bashar might intervene militarily by firing a few missiles, or logistically by immensely aiding Hezbollah and perhaps welcoming the scores of Lebanese refugees. Here, you’d be demonized for standing against such a “noble” man helping the Arabs against Israel. And of course, when a nation is at war, opposition disappears and resistance and unification usually emerges.

This seems to be the most likely scenario, with the recent incidents and attacks in Southern Lebanon targeting the UNIFIL and firing missiles at Israeli territories. Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, leader of Hezbollah’s recent change of tone also hints at that. The formerly docile, magnanimous speeches have quickly become threatening, brazen and overly defensive. Cornered by the concerns of their arms being used on fellow Lebanese after the May 7th incident, the Special Tribunal for Lebanon‘s indictment accusing Hezbollah of assassinating ex-PM Rafik Hariri in 2005, and most recently allegations of links to drug cartels in South America and money laundering via the Lebanese Canadian Bank, Hezbollah too might be tempted to engage Israel and remind its supporters and the Lebanese why they need their arms. Although, if they do engage in a war, I am certain the people who sympathized in 2006, will not be as accommodating this time around. I am one of them, I refuse to go through another devastating war for no real gain other than empty slogans and bloated proclamations of “divine victory” and massive losses in reality when it comes to human life, infrastructure and the overall economy. If Israel failed in its mission, that does not mean we won.

Conclusion

These are uncertain and unhappy times for the region. Promises of a brighter tomorrow are clouded with an uncertain today. A regime as dangerous as Syria’s, when cornered, might do the unthinkable. In this post, I tried to put myself in Bashar’s shoes… A man that so willingly slaughters his people (regardless of any other armed conflict going on with terrorist groups) and denies responsibility on live TV will not feel bad about sacrificing the safety and stability of his country’s tiny neighbor if it means shoring up his grasp on power.

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts Tagged With: , , ,

15 Reasons Maryam Nour Needs to be in a Mental Health Facility

December 12, 2011 By 26 Comments

It’s better if you watch this clip first… So, please do!

1- Jesus and Mohamad are Aliens

Even though the prophets of Christendom and Islam might’ve alluded they’re not from this world, jumping to the conclusion they’re aliens offends both believers and non-believer’s intelligence. For one, believers think they’re divine or touch by something divine (which is different from alien for some reason) and non-believers believe Jesus and Mohamad were just remarkable humans who were able to change the world, like The Buddha for example.

2- She harbored an Arabic-Speaking, Square-Faced Alien for 11 Months

This poor woman believes that a bunch of aliens came to Earth and stayed in the US. They were apparently persecuted by all religions and so they had to seek refuge with, of course, none other than Maryam Noor. She allowed the alien with the square face to sleep in her apartment. After this perfectly plausible story, the  main that question remains is: was the sex any good? Of course not.

Mother of God! It’s ME!

3- Walt Disney (I think she meant Disney World) is an Alien Cocoon

She says in 1946, the cocoons landed, and consequently, the US president ordered something “similar” be built to hide the alien pods. So, according to Maryam Noor, the beloved theme-park castle is hiding the location where square-faced, multilingual, telepathic aliens metamorphose.

4- They’re everywhere, but can’t be photographed

Apparently, all the imaging technologies we have, which span a good portion of the electromagnetic spectrum beyond what we can see with the naked eye (radio, micro, infrared, ultraviolet, xray, gamma, etc.) BUT, no fear! According to Maryam Noor, “London” is working on the imaging technology called “robotology”. What’s odd is that our somewhat primitive and limited eyes, can see the aliens, but all our more advanced imaging technology cannot.

5- Apparently, the aliens are telepathic

After telling us her alien roommate spoke Arabic, she said that they don’t actually talk, but that you understand them in your mother tongue. She says “I understand Arabic, you understand Armenian, etc.”

6- Tattooed people cannot interact with the aliens (Darn it!)

Apparently, “altering your body” makes you unable to interact with the aliens. This is because, apparently, the aliens are nazis when it comes to “God’s creation and image” and if we alter that, the “synchronisity” is thrown off. I hope it doesn’t include cutting nails and shaving hair! I mean, that’s also altering “God’s” image, right?

7- She hands tony a pirated book “Not From This World”

Really? The aliens need to rip it off at Ghali? Can’t they just publish it properly?

8- They steal “Gates” and they’re trying to steal gate “11″ in Halab

According to Maryam Noor, there are many gates in the region that link you directly to other galaxies. This intergalactic “stargate” system allows you to go and “have conversations and sit with ‘them’”. What’s remarkable is she says if they “take Gate 11 in Halab, Syria is gone and we are gone” in an apparent parallel she drew with the unrest in Syria. What’s remarkable is she tells Tony to “wake up!” and that these gates explain baptism and similar rituals in other religions.

9- Asked why she doesn’t host them on her show, she says Nasrallah can see them

Apparently, Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, the executive and spiritual leader of Hezbollah can see these beings. Also, it appears the missing in action Imam Moussa El Sader taught Maryam Noor how to converse with the beings. Al Sader apparently didn’t like her given name, so he called her Maryam, encouraging her to name herself “Maryam Noor” which means  ”Mary Light”.

10- Religious figures refused to appear with her because of the “sexual repression”

That, I agree with her on =P. But seriously, she thinks they’re afraid of her and she does a victory-dance-like move where she snaps her fingers in the air with a smug look on her face (4:41).

Religious figures interject here

Here, it gets funny, and a guy says that the Chruch believes that if aliens are found “they’ll make sure to send them missionaries to preach to them and baptize them” Wow, how arrogant of the Vatican… But, it’s better than the muslim guy’s point of view which resolutely stated “intelligent life does not exist except on Earth” which is a far more uneducated and dangerous stance. Life exists, and when we do discover it, if religions and Islam still exist by then, they’ll have tough questions to answer.

11- Maryam Noor goes about the Universe as she pleases

She says that she is able to travel from planet to planet whenever she feels like it. When asked which planet she went to last, she says she’s been to so many she can’t remember. She also says “you need to drink the water to know it’s there” which I think was massively stupid and irrelevant. Tony then tells her “is there a way you can go to a planet and not come back?” jokingly to which she responds that humans do not exist in one place, she is both there and here, then she tops it off with “destiny is in your hand”

12- The beings replaced JFK with Marilyn Monroe

Yup, she also says the sci-fi movie “The Cocoon” is completely factual. The IMDB description is “When a group of trespassing seniors swim in a pool containing alien cocoons, they find themselves energized with youthful vigor” Yes, very factual…

13- Braces serve an ulterior motive and heels on parquet say “come and f*** me”

She didn’t get the chance to say why braces have ulterior motives, but apparently the sound the heels of a woman make on wooden floor panles means “come and fuck me”

14- Tony wants to end the episode because he is focusing on what he’s gonna do later (which involves eating hotdogs)

Tony bursts out in uncontrollable laughter at this point (12:05)

15- She ends with a dirty joke after refusing to leave and not allowing other guests to appear

She jokes “a woman walking down the street tells a guy looking at her not to look at her because she is freezing. The man says, I have half a kilogram of meat I wanna put into the freezer” WOAH?! Where did that come from?

Diagnosis:

Maryam Noor hears voices in her head, believes she has super-human capabilities, is severely paranoid and is apparently completely convinced with the irrationalities she preaches. I’d say she’s paranoid schizophrenic, but then again, I think she is just like any religious figure and false prophet: wants to make money with her phony books and recommendations and methods.

My Thoughts on Intelligent Extraterrestrial Life

I believe intelligent extra-terrestrial life does exist. Read this to understand my point of view and what is generally accepted in the scientific community.

Filed Under: Fun, Leb, Thoughts

Even More Reason to Love Patriarch Bechara El Rai

November 30, 2011 By 7 Comments

My personal relationship with the 77th Patriarch of the Maronite Church is one I am very proud of. Patriarch Bechara El Rai has been a very dear friend of my family for many years and he has been a father figure for me on many occasions. This might seem very odd to many of you, given my somewhat militant atheism often displayed on the blog.

The Daily Star reported today that the Patriarch not only endorsed civil marriage in Lebanon, but said the government should make it compulsory.

This is fantastic news, and was at first hard for me to swallow. The leader of one of the biggest religious groups in Lebanon has publicly endorsed and thrown his weight behind a fair and practical law when it comes to Personal Status. Read up on my thoughts about Lebanon’s retarded here.

The Patriarch highlighted that “compulsory civil marriage is designed to solve the problem of Muslim and Christian nonbelievers who live in Lebanon and want to get married” Yes, you read it right, he said “nonbelievers.”

This is a quite a significant choice of words. We are raised in an environment that treats non-belief in the same manner it treats homosexuality: intolerance, condescending attitude and a vehement opposition to it. As a result, people like me who have lost faith and embraced non-belief, do so gradually and with extreme caution, sort of what I imagine gay people go through when they “come out”

Today, the Patriarch set an example to those who follow him and acknowledged that nonbelievers are a sizable portion of the Lebanese population and that their personal wishes and rights must be respected. Instead of hearing with the usual unflinching, rigid stances religious figures are known to adhere to, the Patriarch voiced the concerns of most young Lebanese people eloquently and confidently.

The Patriarch took this stance in front of hundreds of students despite the probable controversy this will kick up. I can already hear the pens and pencils in Dar el Fatwa and the equivalent Shiite organization writing up statements condemning the Patriarch’s position when it comes to civil marriage. I though, as I’m sure many of my muslim friends, will agree with the head of the Maronite Church on this one.

You might be wondering how on Earth did a clergyman get to be so open-minded. Well, the Patriarch is merely outlining the places religion should not be present in, and that’s the law. I’d also bet the horrors and hardships he witnessed as a judge in the Maronite Family Court, must’ve helped him realize that a modern, practical and rational Personal Status Law is a MUST. He’s also well-known for his insight and courage, and thus even though this was somewhat of a surprise, it’s definitely not strange coming from Patriarch Bechara El Rai.

His stance on maintaining the current confession-based partition of the government is understandable though, with Christian demographics dwindling and Muslim population rising steadily, you can’t blame him for trying to sure up what foothold Christians still have in the government.

To sum up, I wan to warmly thank the Patriarch for his courageous stance. I also want to encourage other religious leaders to follow his lead, and not block it like they are blocking the protection of women’s rights and safety by law in the Lebanese parliament…

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts Tagged With:

MUST WATCH – Arne Dietrich’s TEDxBeirut Talk

November 16, 2011 By 4 Comments

Professor Arne Dietrich is the foremost reason I want to dedicate my life to Neuroscience. I have taken almost every course he gives at the American University of Beirut and he has been the source of inspiration and insight for many of my Biology and Neuroscience posts on this blog.

I took Cognitive Neuroscience with Arne when my questions about our existence and life’s purpose and the presence of a higher being where at their peak. You could say I was at the cliff’s edge, but Arne’s deep insight on the brain based on empirical evidence combined with his eloquent and somewhat irreverent method of delivering it pushed me way over that cliff.

Life made sense, became understandable, and when it didn’t, you at least had some sense on how you’re going to make it understandable with time and research. Mysticism and faith might seem fascinating, but what’s truly magical is how the brain develops and functions, how nature is so much more beautiful, interesting and unbelievable than putting your paws up and worshiping some divine being.

This 17-minute talk does not do justice to the wealth of knowledge and experience this man has. It does coax you though into rethinking several concepts you hold true about the brain, such as the stupid “we use 10% of our brain” myth and what consciousness and altered states of consciousness really are. If you broaden your horizons a bit more, you might also agree that the gods you believe in are, as Arne puts it, “pixies”

The reactions from the crowd says it all, and Arne’s statements got standing ovations and cheers by die-hard subscribers to the theories he supports (such as myself, who went straight from the airport to TEDxBeirut, ran down to the stage to say hello to Arne before even saying hello to my beloved Lori =P)

So, I really, really, really encourage you to watch the video above, and be sure I will be expanding on the topics Arne skimmed through in those 15 or so minutes.

Filed Under: AUB Affairs, Biology and Neuroscience, Leb, Thoughts Tagged With: , ,

PC Parties and How Al Jaras Mistook it for Twilight Porn

November 14, 2011 By 7 Comments

It all started when Alaa Merheb, who according to his Facebook page, is a “journalist” decided to vomit all over himself. To be fair though “vomited all over himself” does not do justice to his latest article in Al Jaras “magazine.” In that article, Alaa threw up on himself, decapitated himself, shat down his own neck and then slit open his belly, nailed his guts to a tree and ran circles around it. I borrowed that expression from the almighty Stephen Colbert… That is how bad he messed up. It’s such a crappy job at journalism that instead of being mad, I was giggling throughout his whole very poorly researched article about PC Parties.

What are PC Parties?

I’ve covered a few PC Parties here on the blog. The post has loads of pics and everything so you can see for yourself what I experienced my first PC party back in May.

PC stands for something different each time. My first was Pop Culture, my second was Pirates of Cannes and those I remember well include Pretty Clean, Plane Crash, Premier de Classe and most recently Private Coffin, the Halloween edition.

Where do they happen? How do you get in?

The parties are often for 25$ and open bar. The locations change and are often in vacant factories, rooftops or depots. A few regular spots include Sporting Club on Raouche and a couple of factories on the seaside road. All you need to be able go in is be over 18 (so you can legally consume alcohol)

What kind of people go there?

Every kind. There are you rich spoiled kids, your leftist commie-wannabes, your binge-drinkers, your shy nerds who barely go out, your grade-A party animals, your happy couples, your loud divas, your clueless people acting all surprised and people like me: awesome.

Addressing the elephant in the room: Homosexuality

As a biologist, my view on homosexuality is governed by the biological evidence. Thousands of species exhibit homosexual behavior in both female and male individuals. Now, being gay is not purely genetic (about 40% is though) it is also heavily reliant on the specific environment of the individual (both pre and postnatal). In other words, homosexuals were indeed  ”born this way” as Lady Gaga put it, and will most likely become gay if the corresponding circumstances for it arise at different stages in their development.

In other words, I have no problem with the LBGT community. Love is love, no matter what or who it is you’re loving. Even from a legal standpoint, Article 534 in the Lebanese penal code (which is often cited when arguing homosexuality is illegal) states sexual actions “contradicting the laws of nature” are punishable by law. Well, nature has plenty of examples of homosexuality, thus arguing for the possibility that homosexuality does not in fact contradict nature, just religious texts, and is thus, through a legal loophole is not illegal.

I myself am straight, and so are most people who attend PC parties. In fact, I’d reckon the percentage of homosexuals at PC Parties is very close to the amount of gay people at any other club or party. I’ve had the opportunity to experience that first-hand, with guys I see at PC in heels and bras, out the next day in plain old guy clothes in a rooftop club I will not name.

But, at PC Parties, no one cares. If you’re gay and open about it there, you won’t get the typical Lebanese reactionwhich is often disgust. You’d probably downplay the importance and be like “so what?”. Here though, I’d like to take a moment and address the LGBT community in Lebanon: don’t overdo it guys… I’m heterosexual, but you don’t see pictures of vaginas and nude women all over my blog. It gets annoying sometimes, to the point where it looks like the whole point is “hey, look at me! I’m gay!” when in fact, it should be “I’m here to have fun and dance and party”

How Alaa Merheb shamed the journalism industry

  1. He assumed all PC parties stand for Private Coffin, and that it is a reaction to the bitterness PC goers have to the Lebanese political and sectarian system, and that they are so disheartened by the ruling class, that they name themselves the “youth of the coffin”.
    Why he’s wrong? Because each PC stands for something different. And what the fuck do politicians have to do with this? It’s just the same old broken Lebanese record of whining and blaming the “system” for virtually everything. Alaa took the Al Manar way, which is blaming Israel for everything that happens in the universe with no real logical or physical evidence.
  2. He said that the Plane Crash installment coincided with the Ethiopian Plane crash.
    Why he’s wrong? The ethiopian plane crash happened in January 25, 2010. The Plane Crash Party was in summer of 2011. Now, he might be a retard and might believe events 18+ months apart are “coinciding”, if that is the case, then I weep for his parents.
  3.  He said PC goers have a fond connection and love for blood.
    Why he’s wrong? Really? -_- The intro to Private Coffin (a halloween party) jokingly said “there’s gonna be blood” about the venue decorations. Alaa’s minuscule brain must’ve taken it too literally. It’s like believing a party that will “blow your mind” will make your IQ drop to that of Al Jaras and its team’s.
  4. He said PC goers get virgins on horses to abandoned locations without the government knowing.
    Why he’s wrong? The government knows and the authorities allow it. And, why the hell would you bring a virgin on a horse? It seems Alaa’s grandmother folktales have had a deep impact on how he sees the world: stupid religiously-fueled fantasy after another
  5. He claimed PC goers try to make newcomers gay.
    What is this?! Medieval Spain?! No one wants to convert anyone, if anything, you’d be extra certain you are NOT gay after seeing some of the gay couples there!

I’m bored of translating from Arabic and the above will suffise. I assure you, the article is oozing with stupidity and unprofessionalism. Alaa wasn’t even there, he just saw a few pictures of the event on Facebook and probably googled “vampires” and translated some vampire-porn-freak’s account about fictional rituals.

I allowed myself to use the same tone as Alaa in this post. Although, my tone is still more respectable (sorry, I tried to be as trashy as Al Jaras, but couldn’t =’( )

Anyway, to everyone who has ever been and enjoyed PC, forget about this article. It’s just a tabloid with a tween of  pseudojournalist who thinks mixing blood, homosexuality and Lebanese politicians means he has a story. Your explosive reactions and calls for lawsuits are a waste of time. Just treat it as it is: tabloid trash, just like news about Haifa and Nancy!

For those of you who wanna double-check the accuracy of my post, there’s a PC Party this Saturday so go and see for yourself!

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts Tagged With: ,

Endorsement REVOKED: TATW400 and Competition Called Off by Organizers

November 11, 2011 By 2 Comments

My Dearest Readers,

It is with great sadness that I inform you that the organizers of the Trance Around the World 400 have decided to cancel the competition for the 10 regular tickets for the Above and Beyond event on November 26.

The reasons cited were apparently not “sharing the video enough” among other unconvincing arguments. As you can imagine, I was just as disappointed as you guys. It’s unfortunate how many Lebanese businesses and agencies still do not understand what a blog is. A blog is not for sale, and no matter what the prizes or giveaways, the event will get the attention I think is worthy of it (which was a LOT for TATW400 because I love Above and Beyond).

I’d also bet it’s an issue of exclusivity which made the deal get called off so unexpectedly and abruptly. On that note, no business or agency will ever get exclusivity on my blog.

As for you guys who participated in the competition, the top 10 of you (so far) have been saved with me, and I guarantee you, you will get first dibs on future ticket giveaways with promoters who decide to keep their end of the bargain. I’m sorry you went through all that trouble to be disappointed at the end!

Anyway, I wish Above and Beyond and the rest of the DJs the best of luck in their landmark event, and hope all of you guys going have a blast!

Filed Under: Thoughts

A Solution to Lebanon’s Retarded, Religious Personal Status Law

October 30, 2011 By 7 Comments

We Lebanese are famous for our tolerance. Yeah, right. The only thing we should be famous for is being hypocrites when it comes to separating religion and law. In public, most people with human IQs claim they wish we had a truly secular system. In private, most Christians cling to the crooked law which gives them, 39-43% of the population, 50% of the influence. As for Muslims, they’re happy with the 50-50 facade, but know well enough their influence is far greater. The result is a retarded political system full of denial, paranoia and an inability to keep up with the times.

But, that’s not what we’re here to talk about. Fixing our constitution and the Taef Accord is just as likely as women becoming equal to men in religion’s eyes. So, why not focus on stuff that impact us personally, like getting married, inheriting our fair shares and of course getting divorced and remarried.

Problem?

For Christian who think I'm excluding them from the oppression of women part, read the Bible well...

Personal status laws (a7wel shakhsiyeh) in the Lebanese constitution are under the jurisdiction of each religious sect. Which means, priests and sheikhs decide what you can and cannot do with your life in terms of familial ties and relationships. That’s fine and dandy if you’re blindly convinced your religion is absolutely right and true. But, for people with the courage and brains to think critically, interpretations of the Bible and Quran are not the ideal basis for my personal choices and status.

If we want to look at it legally, our sheikhs and imams and priests and bishops are not elected individuals. They’re people assigned to their posts. Which means, we did not vote for them and thus it’s not us who put them in power, yet, they have the authority to control my freedom and pursuit of happiness… A clear violation of what democracy and freedom stand for.

To go further, this makes Lebanese people unequal under law. Which is to say that a Maronite man and a Sunni man are completely different entities under each religion’s law, when in reality they are both humans and Lebanese citizens. Some of what is ok for Maronites is not for Sunnis, and vice versa, and that system most definitely does NOT promote tolerance and equality.

At this point, I assume all of you will agree we need a united personal status law based on logic, reason and pragmatism. If not, stop reading and go pray or beat your wife or something. However, most of you will also agree that that dream is far too ambitious.

Here, I would like to suggest something which might seem funny at first. The acknowledged sects in Lebanon are

  • Alawite
  • Armenian Catholic
  • Armenian Orthodox
  • Assyrian Church of the East
  • Chaldean Catholic
  • Copts
  • Druze
  • Greek Catholic
  • Greek Orthodox
  • Isma’ili
  • Jewish
  • Maronite
  • Protestant
  • Roman Catholic
  • Sunni
  • Shi’a
  • Syriac Catholic
  • Syriac Orthodox

Solution?

Why not add an extra one called whatever you want to call it? That 19th sect would be acknowledged as a sect by Lebanese Law, which means personal status of the people who subscribe to it would be under its jurisdiction. The catch is, that the personal status law would be a modern and fair one. One where the equivalent of civil marriage, inheritance laws and other vital issues are based on successful secular models elsewhere around the world.

This way, I’d convert there, and so would my future wife, and we’d live happily, and my daughter would inherit a fair share of my fortune (which I have yet to accumulate) just like my son would (instead of my female offspring getting half of what my male offspring would like in Sunni laws for example).

What does this solve?

Well, let’s get real and face it, true reform in corrupt Lebanon is virtually impossible. Also, some people genuinely believe beating their wives and raping them is ok religiously (especially after a fatwa was issued  against the domestic violence law proposed to parliament last month). So, these people can keep acting like savages, and for the rest of us who respect the fact we are the result of billions of years of successful evolution and act like it, we can live happily in a more tolerant and fair law.

Conclusion?

Loopholes rock! Why? Because even the most dramatic of changes such as revolutions, have proven useless in the Arab world and Lebanon. So, why not bypass the stupidity and backwardness? Why not push for amending the constitution, like it has been so many times, to create an extra sect? That way, we’d use the system to our benefit instead of fighting it like sissy leftists in Lebanon who plant empty tents and stick stupid posters on Riad el Solh square.

Loopholes! <3

Filed Under: Leb, Thoughts

The Arab Autumn

October 24, 2011 By 14 Comments

Ten months after the Arab Spring began, it has failed. Miserably.

It’s easy to get drunk with revolution. All the chaos, no need to go to work or school, escaping day-to-day routine for something “bigger”… I mean come on, wouldn’t you rather be toppling dictators than paying your bills and stuff? Perhaps, except for the mortal danger part where you might be shot in the face or your head run over with a 20-ton tank…

However, I was skeptical since day 1 and even when Tunis, Egypt and most recently Libya got rid of their strongmen, my tweets were mainly urging the people not to squander what they achieved and to work hard to create a secular, democratic nation on the rubble of the dictatorships they grew up in. Much to my dismay, and the dismay of many I’m sure, the Arabs in revolt have failed miserably.

Tunis

They’re the guys that started the domino effect we witnessed the past year. They’re the guys that supported the Libyans in their struggle, they’re the ones that put the precedent for how things would go down in these blossoming would-be democracies. Unfortunately, religion’s grasp has taken hold in oppressed Tunisians mind and yesterday’s poll results put the Islamist movements and parties ahead of the more liberal secularists.

In other words, instead of a nation built on equality, modernity and reason, Tunis’ laws are going to be derived from a religious book written centuries ago. I mean no offense here, and I’m sure to many that is enough validation, but it is not fair for those who do not share the same views.

Your choice to follow Sharia Law is admirable and it is your complete right to adhere to it, so long as it doesn’t violate other peoples’ rights, safety and of course happiness. That is why instead of one Holy Book, why not use the plethora of literature the whole of humanity has generated over the past millenium and a half? That way, there is at least a choice for people. If I were a Tunisian, and I had to adhere to Islamic law, I would not be happy. Not because of my own views on religion, but because I’m being forced to follow something whose only argument is that “God said so” an argument that is invalid, or at least not enough in the 21st century.

Here, my wrath is not aimed at the Islamic movements. On the contrary, their efforts have blossomed and they have won the elections. My disappointed is instead aimed at the liberals and seculars, who seem to have wasted away their chances with petty in-fighting and the inability to properly unite their front. I am absolutely certain that the youths that chased Ben Ali out of Tunisia, would prefer more freedom and at least a choice. The dilution of the supporters of modernity, freedom and liberalism in Tunisia, has cost them their revolution and today, I am deeply disappointed in Tunisia and Tunisians.

Egypt

Firstly, what the fuck was that trial?! A flea market is more organized than that rabble of a crowd and gang of a prosecution! And why the hell was Mubarak allowed to go all Lady Gaga on us and show up on a hospital bed in a cage? Spare us the mockery and keep him in his room…

As for the army, well, who puts the fate of a democracy in the hands of the military? Yup, that’s right, NO ONE. The civilian and military concepts of governing are practically polar opposites, and asking one to develop and train the other is like asking an employee to train a retard so that retard can become his boss eventually… That employee will do anything to stop the retard from becoming his boss, like it or not.

Also, the pulverizing of Egyptian Copts with tanks and armored vehicles was testament enough to the fact that Egypt has failed. Why? Because under Mubarak, Copts were persecuted more than their non-Coptic compatriots. Today, the Copts have it worse, proving that the tolerant, pluralistic, free and democratic Egypt we were waiting for, is not upon us, and doesn’t look like it’s gonna be anytime soon.

Now, you might argue that it’s foreign powers or a small group of extremists or whatever other conspiracy theory based on no real evidence. But, I tell you it’s not about burning a church or squashing the skulls of protestors… It’s about the reactions of non-Coptic Egyptians, and from where I stand, the condemnation was mild at best and that proves that the will for a respectable, secular and democratic nation, was an illusion that needed far too much work.

Libya

Here is where it cost most I believe. Thousands killed, dozens of cities razed to the ground and what was left of a shaky and corrupt economy completely demolished. Yesterday’s NTC chief’s speech though, was like a blow to my gut. The last hope I had for the Arabs, was gone. “Libya’s laws will be derived from Sharia Law.” If I were a soldier on that front line for months, and I heard that, I’d be like “this was SO not worth it.”

I might come off here as anti-Islamic, but trust me, I’m just as opposed to a Christian-Law governed country. I’m all for religiosity and stuff if that’s what you need to be happy and ethical, but for the people who don’t need it, don’t force it upon them. When I speak of Sharia Law, what’s comes to mind is the KSA and Iran, two examples of definitely undemocratic and oppressive regimes, maybe even Pakistan. I doubt any Sahria-Law governed states exist and can be considered truly free and democratic. You want to speak ideally? Ideally Islamic law is the best? Well, we live in the real world and idealism doesn’t work, it’s pragmatism you’re looking for when it comes to real life.

Conclusion

I’m sad, but I hope I’m wrong about this and the peoples of these countries rise up and demand the rights and freedom they have earned with blood and sweat and tears…

Filed Under: Thoughts
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