“Judge” (Savage Religious Fundamentalist) Bernadette Ojeil Embodies Everything Wrong in Lebanon


Bernadette Ojeil is a “judge” in the mu7asabeh branch of the Lebanese judiciary. Which means she doesn’t judge on court cases with us civilians, but is sort of an auditor that makes sure public spending is ok. Yes, already she’s a joke, given how corrupt and wasteful our public spending is.

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Authoritarian that Abuses Power

  • She decided that the rest of the building don’t have the right to use the common water tank, forcing others to buy their own.
  • She installed cameras all over the building (that hopefully will lead to her demise) despite her neighbors’ objection
  • She sends people to do her bidding, like her husband and the other hair-pulling sissy men she sent to beat up the Syrian dude.
  • Her trumped up charges against the poor Ms Mazloum, that shows her trying to abuse the law, to try and make Mazloun pay for Ojeil’s despicable crimes
  • The fact the courts are listening to her side of the story, is obvious she is corrupt and those handling the case so far appear to be too.

Religious Fundamentalist

  • All that was done because the statue of the “virgin Mary” was “destroyed” by the water tank. A statue you can clearly see is ok, and never touched by the water tanks, Mazloum or her Syrian worker.
  • She would stoop to such horrifying sick levels of violence and hid behind what in her mind was a righteous cause: “Those dirty expats and Syrians desecrating our holy things”
  • I am not sure what sect Ms Mazloum belonged to, but I imagine if anything other than Christian, that’s why the demon of a judge Ojeil felt so liberated in exacting her own brand of religious fundie unjust “justice” on the innocent woman.

Racist and Sexist Bitch

  • She sends her sissy-ass husband to “beat up” the Syrian worker. The most he does? Pulls the dude’s hair. I mean come on, first you run and hide behind your man under a false pretext and encourage others to join in the wanton violence just because it’s a Syrian (who was extra careful not to touch the statue btw)
  • When her sissy husband couldn’t do the trick, she went ape-shit herself, and had the nerve to say Mazloum hit her when the marks are so visible and the doctor’s report couldn’t be clearer.
  • Not only did she send her half-wit husband to beat the Syrian dude, she got some cave-man to pull Mazloum’s hair too, and drag her on the floor, leaving her unconscious. It’s 2014 “AD”, no “20,014 BC” guy… Oh, wait, she’s a religious fanatic that probably thinks the world was created in 7 days 6000 years ago.

She Better Get Fired and in Jail, and Thanks Joe Maalouf

This is an example of the type of filthy somewhat human beings that work in our judiciary. This is a woman that’s supposed to be a judge (given to a lesser degree, but still) who still has the upper hand in the court battle (even though it should and open-shut case with the extensive video footage). How disgusting. How gut-wrenching. How despicable.

This “judge” needs to be fired first, then prosecuted, then put in jail, all that after compensating Mazloum for all the damages. Her husband and his band of merry men (merry as in racist, women-beaters) too. And thanks Joe Maalouf for shedding light on this. I know in the past we had our differences, but I always give credit where credit is due, and recently on LBC, a LOT of very important subjects have been highlighted that we as Lebanese taxpayers, needed to know.

Pornhub: Lebanese Are Boobs People and Middle Easterners Love Feet

Everyone watches porn. Guys, girls, young, old. Is it good? Is it bad? That’s not really the point now, but the fact of the matter it is, and the metrics Pornhub have are always interesting to read. You can check them out here.

Most Arabs are Butt People, Except Lebanon and Egypt

Lebanese folks are boob people, according to Pornhub/Youporn’s insights. That might explain why the epidemic of massively grotesque fake boobs doesn’t seem to be letting up in Lebanon. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think plastic surgery is wrong, and I encourage it if it makes someone feel better about themselves. But, when the funbags become heavy enough to cause a herniated disk, no.


Middle Easterners are Quite the Foot Fetishists

Syria ranks number 1, Jordan is at number 3 and Iran is at a solid 5 and Lebanon isn’t far behind according to the heat map below. I guess that disturbing song of the summer “ri7et ijraykeh” sorta looks justified now!


Noel a Badaro: A Carefree Weekend!


I’ve been talking about how Badaro is gonna be the next it-place when it comes to nightlife in Lebanon. With the dozens of bars and restaurants open and opening soon, this event couldn’t have come at a better time.

Yesterday, I went down with Ali and Farah to check it out around 7:00PM, and it was still going strong after having started at 10AM. The entire street has been closed off to cars, and stands and carts are on every side of the road. Stages, music, christmas carols, awesome food and drinks.


There’s also a lot of cool Christmas gift ideas on sale, designer items and food trucks and yummy weird food items I haven’t seen before (like the fried/baked potato kebabs!).

Anyway, it’s something nice to do this Sunday, whether its with family, friends or your significant other. Wholesome fun, but with good house music in some parts and plenty to eat and drink.

RSVP on Facebook, and see y’all in the afternoon!

American Students in Iowa Singing the Lebanese National Anthem

I’m not sure how many times we Lebanese folks sing the whole national anthem…

Roudaina Al Zohby, from Akkar taught ninety fellow American students in the choir the Lebanese National Anthem.

“I’ve been working on a project in choir. I taught them the national anthem. It only took then a couple of days to learn it as they were very excited. I also took a video of them because I want to post it on our Independence Day.”

View from the Top Floor of Sama Beirut


So, the Sama Beirut tower in the Sodeco region is done construction, and these are 3 photos taken from its top floor by my good friend Elie Koueik, one of the engineers on the project. More to come soon hopefully!unnamed


See that tiny building with the “SS”? That’s the Sodeco Square “tower”…

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The Four Seasons looks tiny from hereunnamed (1)

Remember SKYBAR Sundays? Well, Meet O1NE’s Fridays.



So, after years of trademark SKYBAR nights, the Beirut rooftop, began to appreciate the evolving audio culture of Beirut’s party animals. With a focus on more underground, music-oriented acts like HVOB, Sunday became the it-night last summer, with the posh club turning into a chillaxed, apres-beach spot with shorts and flip flops on grass platforms and comfortable beds and sofas.

Of course, you won’t be wearing flip flops and shorts to the O1NE, cause it’s winter, but the door policy and dress code won’t be as strict as a normal O1NE night. Smart casual (not sure what that is), and walk-ins are welcome, and names that are on the lineup of the “Deep in the House” series include the Loulou Players this Friday, Sharam Jey next week and Hush the one after!

With O1NE being the only permanent winter mega-club these days, it’s refreshing to see them heeding to the crowd’s wishes and focusing on the deeper side of electronic music we’re all passionate about. I’ll be checking it out this Friday and posting on Instagram all about it.

Check out the O1NE FB page here.

And here’s a taste of what’s coming

This Weekend is Massive: Uberhaus Presents Solomun at the Bus Station Hangar


This Independence weekend, we won’t be celebrating officially cause there’s no president to preside over the ceremony of reviewing our troops… But, that’s ok, it means roads won’t be closed and you can party as long as you want. It embodies the essence of all that is good in Lebanon: everything is broken, but somehow we manage to pull through it all ok.

SOLOMUN for Uberhaus’ 3rd Anniversary

You’re not allowed to miss this night. More than seventy tables have been booked and confirmed, at a venue that is even larger than The Garten… So, it most definitely is the biggest party happening this weekend, this month, maybe even this year.

The venue is coming together beautifully, and I didn’t share photos cause I think it’s nicer to discover it for yourself amid the disused bus carcasses in the massive hangar in Mar Mikhael.


Solomun’s specially crafted underground set will be supported by local favorites Romac and Technophile. Can’t wait. If you still haven’t RSVPed, do it!

Dave Seaman at b018 Friday CANCELED, postponed till 2015!


3 Things Abou Faour Needs To Do


6 days out of 7, I am a harsh critic of the Lebanese government and its institutions. But, on that 7th day, I look for a public sector or institution that’s actually doing their job, and try to support what they’re doing. It was hard trying to classify Health Minister Wael Abou Faour’s recent actions into good or bad though, and for several reasons.

Why not punish the corrupt ministry employees and inspectors?

We don’t trust the government. Why should we? When we’re not being let down without basic needs like water and electricity, we’re being hunted down and humiliated by incompetent law enforcement and a corrupt judiciary. But, once in a blue moon, a good person has the misfortune of being in government, to name a few, Ziad Baroud and Dimyanos Qattar. Assuming Abou Faour is one of those “good” folks (definitely doesn’t compare to folks like Ziad Baround given his prime loyalties lie with Druze leader Walid Junblatt, and not the Lebanese public), we need him to prove it.

Before launching his firebrand, emotional, all-over-the-place smear campaign against businesses that have allegedly not met the ministry’s standards, Abou Faour needs to fire each and every inspector that has worked there for the past two decades. Why? Well, if all these places are violating food safety standards, it must have been happening for quite a while, not suddenly last week. So, who falsified the reports for all those years (for bribes most probably)? Are they still in the ministry? If so, why should I trust anything that comes out of it if it’s festering with this much conscienceless corruption that endangers taxpayers’ health and lives?

Fire your corrupt employees first sir, then maybe we can start trusting you more readily.

Why Not Publish the Details?

Be transparent. Go against the norm of hiding information from taxpayers and making it a crime for them to obtain this information. Free it, let us know who, how, when, where and why the samples were handled. Allegations that unfit transport and handling could’ve compromised the samples, and it is a legitimate concern anywhere in the world. Get a second opinion, share with us the lab details and let the Lebanese taxpayers help peer-review what they eat’s lab results.

Why Is the List Incomplete?

When parts of Lebanon are excluded in anything, the first thing that pops to mind is a hidden agenda. Are all restaurants in Metn/Kesserwen violating, but none in Abou Faour’s home districts? Why give priority to rural areas, and leaving out Beirut where most of the Lebanese population lives and works or at least visits regularly? The speculations range from “he’s protecting his area” to “the ministry is waiting for bribes from Beirut establishments before it publishes the rest of the list”.

I like Abou Faour, so I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he isn’t as crooked as many of his colleagues. However, it still does look fishy, and why give people an excuse to speculate? Why half-ass such a divisive and controversial issue?

My Thoughts

Like with any attempt to reform, Lebanese officials are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t. If the minister hadn’t done something, we’d still be repeating the broken tune orchestrated by tabloid TV shows that “our food is killing us”. When the minister did act, regardless if it was the ideal response or not, many voices of dissent, even among his fellow ministers. fought back kicking and screaming.

So, perhaps Abou Faour should’ve been more traditional in his handling, and instead of the hysteria-fueling press conference series, maybe actually shut down the places that are violating health codes, making them pay fines or even prosecuting if malicious intent was proven in court.

On the other side of this scandal, Roadster Diner has pulled off a marketing feat for every book, class and lecture about how to manage a crisis like being labeled as non-compliant with simple health codes: they fed off the seemingly spontaneous support of their fans which started hashtags like #TrustRoadster and #ItrustRoadster with tweets and photos of them eating at RD despite one of their branches being on the list. Roadster then did something epic: riding on this wave of support from folks, they announced that they’re going to donate the necessary funds to open a new, state of the art lab for the Health Ministry. It was a stroke of brilliance really, in which they conceded being under the authority of the ministry (unlike many, more macho businesses) but also gently pointed out that maybe the resources at the ministry at the moment do not live up to the aspirations of the Lebanese taxpayer.


Lastly, and in support to his Excellency’s efforts, Roadster diner management has decided to fully equip a new testing lab to support speeding up the process of testing for all companies including ourselves. Details of where and how are to be left to his Excellency’s preference, which may be a new branch for Al Fanar institute or another new location.

[source: RD Facebook page]


I support the minister, even if I think it was a tad-bit overboard and sloppy. I think RD is an example to follow in how to manage a crisis like this. I think it’s troubling many of us Lebanese taxpayers would so readily trust a business accused of endangering the safety of our food, more than we do a vital governmental ministry, and I think that’s where Abou Faour’s priorities should lie: cleaning and restoring the health of his own ministry from the gargantuan corruption, before launching such a vicious campaign on so many restaurants and grocery stores.

Epic Posters by AUB Secular Club + My Endorsement




Elections at AUB have always been important. From the Civil War times, to the Syrian Occupation and up until this day. They’re important because they’ve been peaceful for many years, festive even. They’re important because no side ever wins decisively, and end up counting on independents or are forced to work with each other to get things done. You know, a proper election not the kind that elected these 128 thieves in our parliament.

This year, it is doubly important. With our piece of shit parliament extending for itself, and the priests that control other universities in Lebanon canceling elections there, this is one of the few electoral processes in Lebanon that is still happening.

It goes without saying that I am not supporting any of the pathetic political sides of fans and loyalists to the MPs who have extended for themselves, the kind the posters depict perfectly: the micro-penis compensation convoys, the absurd tire burning daily sessions and the barbed wire the MP thieves hide behind in Downtown Beirut. We don’t want any of that, and any supporter of any political party with MPs in this parliament, is just that: a supporter of this festering system of corruption, no accountability and lies.

That’s why, I encourage my readers who go to AUB to vote for the Secular Club instead. They’re honest, hard-working people who run brilliant campaigns on comprehensive platforms that build on impressive achievements. You can check out their candidates and platform here.

So, keep the filthy MPs, their disgusting convoys that beat citizens up, the road-blockers, election-cancelers, the thieves and the cowards outside of AUB’s main gate. Make us proud. Let’s give Lebanon an example of how elections can be done, and what type of people to elect.

The Official Halloween Parties List

Friday October 31

Olivier Giacomotto at b018


Musically, this is the absolute best party for Halloween in Beirut. Olivier Giacomotto is a god, and he’s supported by one of our local heroes Ziad Ghosn on the night. Excitement!? Costumes are mandatory, and so is dancing to this track:

in your costumes. Party starts 1:00AM, so go wherever you were going and then descend into the underground club that is b018 ^^

RSVP here

DECADEATH: Hallowood, City of Demons


The production value of this party gets better year after year. The St. Georges Hotel is already creepy, add to that all the props they guys at Mix are gonna add, and you’ll have a legit haunted house to party in (think of the sets you see at the entrance of 80’s night, x100). The music will be Rodge’s signature medley of crowd-pleasers from across the last few decades. Make sure your costume is up to par, so the decorations don’t outdo you :P Tickets are for $40 for the first 500, then $45 and $75 for seated tables.

RSVP here

7 Deadly Sins with Agents of Time by 6th Sense Productions

10417599_339457136225658_5564511463264850072_nThe guys at 6th Sense take costumes seriously, and they’ve assembled a jury of 7 local designers and artists to decide which costume is the best. Winner gets a ticket to Berlin! Judges are Rabih Salloum, Hady Beydoun, Poly, Souad Eid, Daniele Kirijian, Hassan Idriss & Maria Prince and Diane Ferjane.

The lineup is also particularly epic, with Ralph & Hicham, Tatyana and Michael D joining Agents of Time for the first time in Beirut!

The venue is in Centre Sofil, and tickets are for $35.

RSVP here.

The Circus of Freaks II at Art Lounge


It’s all about freak shows this seasons (AHS fans), and you’re being summoned to The Circus of Freaks in Karantina! The lineup at Art Lounge includes Pablo Abou Zeid, G-Mohris, Bachir Salloum and Omar Mahasneh. Apart from the awesome lineup, there will be a live, freaky show by the folks behind Arts & Melon! Tickets are for 50,000 LBP

RSVP here

3rd Annual Halloween Night Ride!!!


Imagine a whole lot of people looking scary as hell riding a bicycle convoy through Beirut’s hottest hotspots, from Gemmayzeh, to Mar Mikhael, Badaro, Tayoune, Mathaf, Sodeco, Downtown and Hamra and finally back to Martyr’s Square. It’s fucking epic, and you can browse the different places before you decide where you wanna go after the ride, since it starts at 8 and ends around 11:30PM. Cycling Circle has been doing this for 3 years now, and make sure you’re all geared up and at Cyclo Sport at 8:00PM sharp!

RSVP here

Saturday November 1



The guys at C U NXT SAT are keeping the lineup at The Grand Factory secret, but I’m sure it’ll include our favorite residents and maybe a guest from abroad? Tickets start at $20 at 10:00PM and star going up the later you show up. Tables are $33 per person including 3 drinks, with discounted prices till 11PM at the bar. All in all, the elevator is enough to spook you out, so, imagine the actual venue. It’s also a good price, without the Halloween price mark-up.


Parties I’ll Definitely Be At

b018’s, MixFM’s, C U NXT SAT’s and the bike ride!